


Our Love Conquers All

by Sherlocks_wand



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dobby lives too, Dumbledore Lives, F/M, Hogwarts Eighth Year, I hate Lucius Malfoy, M/M, Poor Hermione, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ron Weasley Being an Asshole, Severus Snape Lives, Some ooc characters, it's not his fault though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-01-29 00:01:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12618536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlocks_wand/pseuds/Sherlocks_wand
Summary: What do you do when your archnemesis saves you from your best friend? Easy. You fall in love with him.





	1. Nothing special

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. This story isn't beta'ed so there are probably going to be, like, a million mistakes. Hope you enjoy it anyway :)

„Mione?“ Harry’s voice is loud, even in the noisy common room. I speed over to him, not wanting to draw more attention than necessary onto us. “I’m stuck.” He is talking more quietly now and looking at me hopefully with his big, green eyes. I read his essay, just to check if there are any mistakes, of course. Even I have to admit that the seventh year is extraordinarily hard, and I sincerely doubt that Harry and Ron will make it, without me constantly nagging at them to study. “Mione, you’re a lifesaver.”  I smile and answer: “Says the guy who got rid of Voldemort, saving thousands of people in the process.” Blushing Harry looks away, pretending to check his map of the stars for astronomy.

I look up when Ron Weasley, my second best friend enters the room. Well, actually he rather trips into the packed common room and nearly takes Dean down with him. “Harry, Hermione! You won’t believe this!” I go to help him up, curious what he is so excited about. “What’s going on?” “Well, so, Malfoy…” “Please, could you drop the volume. I had enough attention on us for the rest of our lives.” Harry nods in agreement, but it’s too late. The whole common room is already listening intently. “So… Malfoy and Pansy. They just broke up. There were a few hexes involved, as well as some second years, I think. Anyway, Pansy is apparently still crying somewhere, because it seems like she thought they were totally fine. Malfoy, the git, decided to end things out of the blue.” I laugh. “Are you starting to pity Slytherins now?” Ron blushes. “Nah. It just sucks to do something like that, no matter to whom.” I put my arm around his shoulder and laugh. “I’m just teasing. I think it’s a shitty thing to do, too.” As surprised as I am by the news though, I lose interest quickly. “Come on Ronald, there is a lot of homework to do.” He groans, but sits down with us and starts reading the assigned chapter in the potions book.

* * *

 

While brushing my teeth, I start thinking about Malfoy again. I think, it actually is the first time he’s single since he started looking somewhat good. I shake my head at my thoughts. Malfoy isn’t good-looking, he’s a git.

Restlessly I roll around in my bed. This is the second time this week I can’t sleep. I groan and get up to get some of the sleeping draught I keep in a small cabinet on the other side of my room. Since I have my own room – one of the benefits of being head girl – I don’t have to worry about waking anyone else. But I miss having company. Especially Ginny and our late-night talks.

The first thing I notice when I wake up, is my completely unkempt hair. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, can’t it just for once…” I continue swearing while trying to at least get some order in there. I decide to do two buns, while still leaving some of the hair down. It saves me from having to do the top half of my hair as well.   
Since it’s Friday I have no choice but to wear my uniform. Sometimes I desperately wish those didn’t exist. Sighing I put away the blue blouse I bought this summer, and squeeze into the black clothes the school chose for me.

* * *

 

“Not potions again.” Harry murmurs, while I put food on my plate. Listlessly I nibble on a marmalade toast. “Ish everything okay Mione?” “Please Ron, it’s so gross when you speak with your mouth full. Can’t you just remember that?” I didn’t mean for my answer to be so harsh, but oh well, it IS gross. Ron looks down at his plate sheepishly, chewing in silence.

“I can take your bag if you want.” Since Ron seems very desperate to make up for his behaviour from earlier, I hand it to him. My shoulder is hurting anyway. Weakened by the amount of books he is carrying Ron stays behind, giving Harry and me time to have a rare talk just between us.

“So… Harry,” I nudge him playfully, “What’s going on between you and Ginny?” Instantaneously the raven-haired blushes and looks at the floor. “Well… Monday we studied together.” Disappointed about the little information he gave I try to get more out of him, but he won’t budge. Oh well, I can always ask Ginny.

The door to the potions classroom is still closed when we arrive, and our classmates are already waiting before it. “Did you hear about Malfoy and Parkinson?” One shouts while others are noisily talking about Quidditch or comparing nail polish. I am annoyed by the noise and would rather use the time to prepare for Snape’s already impossible class.

When Snape opens the door everyone suddenly goes silent and scurries to their seats. Only Draco “Nobody can hurt me” Malfoy waltzes to his seat like a king. He is elaborately talking to Blaise, probably trashing some student or the other. To be honest, it could even be me, but I stopped listening to the git a long time ago. After all, I know perfectly well that my parents are muggles, without him rubbing it under my nose every five minutes.

Half an hour later it is hard to see anything. The dungeon is filled with smoke in so many colours, you could think it was a five-year-old’s rainbow themed birthday party. I try to concentrate on cutting my Gurdyroot.   
I’m yanked out of my thoughts by Snape’s voice. “Longbottom!” he hisses, his voice dangerously quiet. “How stupid can one human being be?” Neville seems to shrink under the professor’s stare. Nobody seems to care, though. It had become normal that Snape insulted Neville. I try shooting my fellow Gryffindor an encouraging look before continuing with my potion.

Finally, Potions is over. Harry, Ron and I are on our way to History of magic. “Snape and Binns in one day. Friday’s should officially be declared the day of torturing student’s.” Harry groans. I agree with him, but my pride keeps me from actually telling him so.

* * *

 

Ron and I are standing in a corridor. “What do we do now?” He asks the exact same thing I was just about to. I shrug. Since Harry had gone to ask Flitwick about something Ron and I had ended up alone together. “You already know what you’ll give Harry for Christmas?” I ask to at least say something. “Nah… You got an idea?” I think about what I could give him for quite a while, when I am suddenly being pressed against the wall.


	2. An Unfortunate Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for Non-con in this chapter.

Ron’s lips are rough on mine. Unsuccessfully I try pushing him away or to scream, but his mouth silences my desperate cries for help. I stop fighting him eventually. I can feel his hands slipping beneath my shirt, making their way upward. His lips force mine open and his tongue slips into my mouth, ravaging it. Tears start falling from my eyes, but my former best friend ignores it and rubs my breasts with such force that it hurts. Finally, his hands start making their way down again and briefly I think it’s over before he reaches my skirt and I begin struggling again. When he slides under my panties I go limp.

Suddenly Ron is gone. I break down and let my tears run freely. Sobs shake me, and I can’t see. How could he do something like that? We are friends! I notice somebody picking me up and without checking who it is, I roll up against a broad, muscular chest. “Everything is ok, Granger. It’s going to be okay.” The voice is soothing, so soft that I nearly don’t recognize it. But it is definitely Malfoy. I want to scream at him to let me down immediately, to go away, but all strength has left me and nothing, but a sob comes out of my mouth, as he starts walking away.

“Weasley’s a pig.” He says after a while. “He’s my…” I want to say friend, but I can’t bring myself to get it out. How could Ron do this to me? It should have been him carrying me right now, after Malfoy had done something to me. But the roles are reversed, my whole world changed. Nothing will ever be the same.

I feel us becoming invisible as we get closer to the dungeons. I have to admit, Malfoy isn’t stupid. Nobody notices as we make our way through the Slytherin common room, up the stairs to where the dormitories are. Apparently Slytherins get their own rooms after fifth year, because there is only one bed in the little chamber Malfoy had brought me to. I had heard the rumour, but never believed it. But that really doesn’t matter now.

“Malfoy, I can’t be here.” I mumble weakly when he lets me down. “Why not? I just saved you, so show a little gratitude, would you?” He smirks at me. “Of course, I could also bring you back to Weasley. Maybe he will finish what he started.” I wince. “Sorry.” He says immediately, smiling at me apologetically. I look around the room, fixate the bookshelf, grab one of the books and sit down in the green armchair next to the bed, trying to read. I need to think about something else right now, anything else, but the fact that I am in Draco Malfoy’s room, or the reason for mentioned fact.

I hear him chuckle. “What?” I ask, looking at him. “It’s just… Granger you’ve just been… violated. And yet, you sit there… reading, of all things. I just…” he drifts off. I smile weakly. “Well you know me, Malfoy.” He mumbles something, then sits down at the small desk. I am close to crying once more so I try to read. I can’t cry in front of him again, no matter how appropriate it would be right now. I still have some pride left.  
So, instead I try to read the same page for hours, not able to understand a single word, while Malfoy stays at the desk, writing something.

* * *

 

“Malfoy?” I’m already dreading what I’ll have to ask of him. “Hm?” “Erhm… Could I… Well, could I maybe stay here tonight? Please? I can’t go back there.” My voice breaks, and it feels good when the tears start rolling again. Freeing. “Of course, Granger. Stay as long as you have to.” I am so shocked I nearly stop crying. Yes, he had saved me, but I hadn’t thought he would let me stay here without at least a small argument. “Thank you.” I mumble through sobs and look back at my book.

After a while I get up to toddle to the bathroom. I accio my toothbrush and blouse, not even thinking about sleepwear. Under the shower I rub at my breasts until the skin is red and angry. The pain is nothing compared to the flashbacks of Ron’s hands there. For a while, I only stand there, a towel wrapped around me, thinking.   
“Granger? Is everything okay in there?” I snap out of my trance and shout: “Yes, yes. It’s just…” I think of what to say. Unfortunately, the first thing that comes to my mind is: “I have nothing to wear tonight.” Oh no. No, no, no. He would now think I had lost it completely. Indeed, I could hear him chuckle outside of the door, before saying: “Open the door a smidge. You can have one of my old shirts.”

I blush when I behold the piece of black cloth Malfoy had just given me. It isn’t really that bad. It actually reaches down to the middle of my thigh. But still, it is Malfoy out there… Sighing, I eventually put the shirt on. It’s not like the night could get any more embarrassing or traumatic.

When I leave the bathroom in just my underwear and Malfoy’s shirt, I can feel his eyes on me. I stop in the middle of the room and it takes him a moment to start talking. “You take the bed.” He says, his voice distant. I want to say something, but he just shakes his head and disappears into the small Ensuite himself.   
He is full of surprises today. First, he takes me to his room, then he allows me to stay the night without any argument and now he is insisting on giving me his bed.

When the blonde leaves his bathroom, I am already cuddled under a heap of blankets, reading. Or at least attempting to. “A wild Granger in her natural habitat.” He muses, and I actually chuckle a bit. I put away the book and look at him. Instead of the satin pyjamas I had expected, he is wearing a black T-shirt that looks very similar to mine, and a pair of grey boxer shorts. “Malfoy.” I start, tearing my eyes away from his chest, to look him into the eyes. “What are you doing? I mean, I am grateful, believe me, I am, but… Why are you being so nice?” I am still wary of him, despite his hospitality.

“Well, Granger, I don’t know if you noticed, but I have not bullied a single student this year. On the one side it’s part of my probation, but I also really want to change. I know now that my behaviour was wrong and hurtful. I also know that that doesn’t make everything I did undone, but I want to apologise and try to do better. Especially with you. Muggleborn or no, you are still the smartest witch I know. I am also incredibly sorry for everything I put Potter and Weasley through. I have already sent letters of apology to most of my…victims,” he seemed to wince at the word, “and was actually on my way to send yours, when I found you. I hope you forgive me, Granger, because I swear I have changed and I really want to be your friend.”

I smile. “Hermione.” I offer. “Hermione.” He repeats. “But Draco,” the name sounds foreign to my tongue, but pleasant, “I can’t forgive you yet. You have to understand that what you did and said over the years hurt me. It actually hurt a lot. But I am willing to try. I want to be your friend to.” With a last smile I turn toward the wall thinking that this Draco Malfoy wasn’t such bad company at all.


	3. Ginny knows best

I wake up because the sun is shining directly onto my face. That’s strange, I normally sleep with my back to the window. I open my eyes, and when I see the room I’m in, I remember yesterday. I close my eyes again, desperately wishing for the bliss of not knowing again. “Stop it.” I think to myself “You can’t lie around all day moping and drowning in self-pity.” I open my eyes again and turn, so that I am watching a sleeping Draco. He is curled up in the green chair, and I ask myself why he didn’t transform it into a bed. I am about to do it for him, so that is spine isn’t completely ruined by this whole ordeal, when Pansy’s shrill voice sounds from the door.

“Dray, wake up! Listen, I am sorry, for anything I did. Please can we talk.” Draco jolts awake at the sound. I race to the bath, not wanting anybody to see me here, especially in such little clothing. I use the time Draco spends getting rid of Pansy to get ready. I try not to think about the fact that Ron is going to be at breakfast, and fail spectacularly. I start crying again and curl up on the cold tiles. I don’t care if Draco sees me like this anymore. I just need to cry.

I still haven’t moved when Draco knocks on the door ten minutes later. “Gra… Hermione are you okay? You can stay in there, if you want, but if you want to eat we should go downstairs soon.” Draco sounds concerned, and I smile a bit through my tears. “I’ll be out in a sec.” I sniffle.

I get up, dry my eyes and take off the black tee. I look at myself in the big mirror. The red of my rather small breasts is still visible against the caramelly brown of my skin and I quickly mumble a healing spell. The rest of my body looks exactly the same as always. A bit too skinny maybe, but the war had taken a toll on us all.   
I don’t even try with my hair today and put it in a bun. I put the light blue blouse on, without bothering with a bra, combining it with a pair of black leggings. I smile when I look at the mirror again.

I think about Draco while he is in the bathroom. Whether I can trust his intentions. I want to believe it so badly, but years of bad experiences warn me not to. I sigh and pick up the book I read last night. I don’t want to think about any of this mess right now.

“Done.” With a grin Draco exits the small room. “Let’s go.” He spells us invisible again and, careful not to touch anyone, we make our way out of the dungeons. In front of the great hall he ends the spell.   
“Thank you.” I say, looking him directly into the eyes. I take a deep breath and open the heavy doors, leaving Draco behind.

* * *

 

I have to count my breaths and do my best to keep calm, but when I see the red hair halfway toward the table, I bolt, without even thinking about it. Flashbacks keep coming while I run towards the toilets as fast as I can, a hand in front of my mouth, to keep from screaming. Or worse, vomiting.

I am sitting in one of the three stalls, crying and still dry heaving, when I hear him. “Hermione.” Merlin, can’t he leave me alone? “This is the bloody girl’s toilet. Go away.” I say with some difficulty. It seems to work, I can hear his steps going away.

I don’t know how long I sit there, but when I finally exit the stall, I nearly have to scream when I see the red hair. I turn to go throw up again, when a small hand takes mine. “Mione. Stop.” Ginny hugs me hard, while I start crying again.

“What did my idiot brother do now?” Ginny asks ten minutes later, sitting on the floor, my head in her lap. I just shake my head. I can’t say it. Putting it in words would make it even more real than it was already. “Please?” Ginny asks softly.

I try to tell her, but my voice breaks after the first sentence. “He kissed you?” Ginny tilts her head sideways and looks at me. “Was it that bad?” I chuckle a bit. “I… I didn’t want him to kiss me… or do other things to me.” Tears well up again and my sobs stop Ginny from answering for a while.

When I stop, the anger in her face scares me. “Believe me Mione, if you didn’t need me right now, I would be on my way to smash that fuckhole’s head in.” She looks down at me and her face softens. “I am so, so sorry on behalf of my brother Mione. I can’t explain it to myself, but believe me, I will make him explain.” “And suffer.” She adds. I smile weakly. “Thank you, Gin. I am so grateful to have you.” Ginny smiles, then takes me by my shoulders, props me up against the wall on my own and gets out her wand. She points at her hair, grins at me mischievously and a moment later, she’s blonde. Just like that. It looks so different and weird, that I have to giggle. “I am glad that my trying to stop you from getting flashbacks every single time you see my hair, makes you happy.” She doesn’t sound sarcastic.

“Ginny, it’s really nice of you,” I say, once I recover from my giggle fit, “but your hair is a part of you. Don’t change it for me.” The blonde – it feels weird saying that – looks at me as if I had lost my mind. “Firstly, of course I have to. Secondly, I’ve been wanting to do this for a very long time anyway. And thirdly, I don’t want anyone to associate me with Ron right now, anyway.”

We sit there for a while longer, saying nothing. I seem to be empty of tears, and so I just enjoy the silence. “We should go get lunch. You have to eat.”  Ginny must’ve seen the look on my face, because she quickly adds: “Don’t worry, I’ll keep my brother far away from you.”

* * *

 

“Ginny?” I ask while I put so many potatoes on my plate, that even Ron couldn’t eat them all. I wince when I think Ron’s name. “How did you know where I was?” I hadn’t thought about the reason for her presence earlier, had just been grateful, but now it did seem strange that she would know where I was, when we hadn’t seen each other since yesterday. “Malfoy told me. He seemed genuinely concerned.” Ginny shrugs. “I didn’t think about it, because it was obvious that you needed me. But now… why did HE know, where you were?”

I take a few bites of my food, before answering. It tastes heavenly. “Well, he… he found us yesterday. And he saved me from… he your brother going all the way.” It is hard to keep the food down, but somehow, I manage. “He took me in and, well he was actually really nice about it all.” Ginny is grinning now. “What?” I ask, already half knowing her answer. “Firstly, a makeover is in order. Great tragedies bring great makeovers. That’s a law.” I roll my eyes, but it’s hard not join in with her excitement. “Also, you need to talk with Malfoy.” I don’t even try to say ‘but’. I just eat my lunch, listening to Ginny’s plans for my hair.

I can feel Draco’s eyes on me when I get up. They follow me and Ginny toward the doors. I try walking a bit straighter than usual. But as soon as we are outside I could break down again. There he is, walking around as if nothing had happened. And Harry is at his side! I can already feel the tears in my eyes, when Ginny promptly hexes her brother. A second later, he is lying on the floor, unable to move. Without hesitation Ginny continues walking, pulling me with her. I don’t smile, but at least I am not crying.

An hour later, we are sat in my room in front of my normally tiny mirror, magically enlarged by Ginny. She’s mumbling something about my hair, while One Direction is playing quietly. I know it’s a cliché, but sometimes you just need a cheesy boyband to make things right again.   
Currently, Ginny is blocking my view of the mirror, looking at my hair as if she wants to chop it all off. But I know she would never do that. She loves my natural hair too much for that. I hope. Finally, Ginny sighs, takes out her wand and goes to work on the back of my hair, finally enabling me to look at myself. I nearly gasp when I see the professionally applied makeup. My eyelids are glittering in a mix of bronze and silver, which makes my hazel brown eyes look more intense than I had ever seen them before. My eyebrows and lashes are pitch black and curved perfectly. My cheeks are a subtle red and the highlight Ginny put onto my cheekbones seems to make my whole face glow. The nude tone on my lips is just a few shades darker than my natural colour, which makes them look fuller. And then there is the dress.

Normally I’m not a big fan of dresses. But this one is so gorgeous that I want to wear it every day from now on. It is a very simple black dress with wide sleeves. For once, I don’t care about the length, even enjoying the cool air on my thighs. It is a bit shorter than Malfoy’s shirt, and much wider on the bottom, while the middle is tight around my waist.  It seems very Coachellaesque, which I tell Ginny. She just looks at me as if to say, “You muggles have the strangest words.” Before going back to my hair. The only thing that really worries me, are the heels. They are a pair of Ginny’s and they are at least five inches high. I just hope that a balance spell keeps me from falling over tonight.

When Ginny is done with my hair, I can’t recognize myself. My hair is open and natural, but Ginny had done something to make each individual curl reflect the light so beautifully that my hair isn’t the dull black mop it usually is, but that it looks like a glowing black sun. It’s also slightly less huge than normally. I love it. “Thank you, Gin.” I whisper, while hugging her as hard as I can.

“No problem.” She wheezes, practically shoving me off her. “And now go off, little bird. Find your Prince Charming.” She giggles and shoves me out of my own room, waving and pretending to wipe tears from her face.


	4. Friends

Nervously I pace around the small room only Ginny and I know about. Well, knew about. Draco now knows too. And he’ll be arriving any second now. The only problem is, that I don’t actually know why. ‘To talk’ Ginny had said, but what about, is a whole other story. Trying to avoid thinking about Draco, my thoughts drift to Harry and Ron. Great.   
I had only been able to enter the Gryffindor common room because I knew Ron was lying paralysed in the entry hall. But even then, I had started crying halfway through, because I had seen the chairs around the fireplace us three usually sat in. I was being ridiculous I knew that. But I couldn’t hold the tears back.

I miss Harry. My best friend in the whole world had taken the side of my…. I can’t even think it. I even miss Weasley. I had to think about him as Weasley right now, because I can’t risk ruining Ginny’s masterpiece with tears. I miss him as my friend. As he had been before.   
My stomach grumbling makes me come back to reality. I swish my wand. 7:18 p.m. We had agreed on 7, hadn’t we? Annoyed and hungry I continue my pacing until, finally, the door opens, and Draco slips in.

It is still strange thinking of him as Draco. “Hey.” He mumbles shyly. It is so unlike him, I have to giggle a bit. When he finally looks up at me he stops dead in his tracks. His mouth is open, as if he had just been about to say something and his eyes are wide. I smile at him and spin around once, the skirt billowing around my middle, nearly exposing my underwear. “You like it?” I ask. Draco blushes and looks at the floor again. “You look stunning Hermione.” He mumbles. I decide to have a bit of fun with him for letting me wait so long. “Sorry, what did you say? I didn’t hear you?” He sighs, looks me in the eyes and whispers “You look absolutely stunning Hermione.” I grin and spin around once more. “I do, don’t I? Well, Ginny deserves all the credit. She made this dress herself and the make-up is also hers. And let’s not even talk about the hair.” “Well, no matter how talented the artist, the material also has to be right.” I laugh and pretend to be offended. “So, I am Ginny’s ‘material’?” Again, Draco gets all flustered. I decide I like him like this. “I didn’t mean it like that… I just wanted to say that….” “That what?” I tease, enjoying myself immensely. “That you are already beautiful without all this.” He stammers.

I take a step toward him. Thanks to the heels we are about the same height. I lean forward a bit, so that I can whisper into Draco’s ear. Without thinking I say: “You are very handsome yourself, Draco.” I put special emphasis on his name. When I pull back, Draco is looking at the floor again.   
Oh gods, what am I doing? Am I seriously flirting with the enemy? Well, at least that’s what Harry would call it. But Harry isn’t here. And he wasn’t there yesterday either. But Draco was. Draco deserves my forgiveness. I tell him exactly that and he beams at me. “Thank you, Hermione.”

“Now that we established that we don’t hate each other anymore, what do we do with our evening?” “Well, Ginny made you up so nicely, we can’t just let that go to waste.” I shake my head vigorously, as if to say, obviously not. The grin that spreads on Draco’s face now promises excitement and distraction. And right now, I am more than happy to be distracted. “Let’s go.” It’s his turn to whisper in my ear and mine to blush. Even though the words weren’t suggestive, I feel my core tightening.

* * *

 

Draco and I walk the whole way toward the Apparition point in deep conversation. Draco is actually a talented conversationalist and I am thankful that he leads the conversation the whole time. I’m able to relax and not think about the numerous things I absolutely do not want to think about right now. When Draco takes my arm to Side-by-side apparate, a tingle spreads through my body. I smile and despite the gross feeling of apparating, I am still smiling when we emerge on a busy street full of colourful lights.

Draco is grinning at me and I grin right back. “Club or Restaurant?” He asks, and I don’t even have to think before I say: “Club.” Minutes later we’re standing in front of a Victorian era building, which’s upper-level windows are exploding with colours. I can hear the music from here and am already swinging in the rhythm a bit when we’re finally let in. I suspect that Draco’s family fortune has a lot to do with our relatively short waiting period, as people who had been there long before us are yelling a lot of swear words at us as we enter the building. We put away our jackets and climb the stairs to the main club floor.

I had never been in a club before and the sheer sensuality of the people’s dancing makes my already agitated chore pulse in tact with the music. I instantaneously feel hot and tell Draco that I will get us drinks, which I practically have to scream at him at the top of my lungs. He nods, watching the crowd move in complete sync with one another, with the music. I understand his fascination. It feels like magic, a completely different kind than the one we had used to get here.

Hoping Draco would appreciate the humour behind it, I order two Sex on the beaches. When I return, he is still watching the crowd, as if wanting to figure out what makes the bodies work in such unison. I have to yell directly into his ear to get his attention. He smiles, thanks me and takes a sip of his drink. I do the same.

It tastes sugary, but very clearly like alcohol. We finish our drinks fast, probably too fast, but we are too excited to care. Whenever a red flash of light brightens the crowd, a picture of Ron ravaging my mouth wants to sneak into my mind, but the more alcohol enters my system, the less I think about it. When Draco and I start moving, pressed together tightly in the small space, I let loose completely. I feel everything that had been weighing me down since yesterday slip off me. I am free. Not only that, I am not only me anymore. I have become part of the crowd, part of the music. I am a small, nearly irrelevant part of something important, something big.

I lose my sense of time and I lose track of how much I drink. I feel safe to do so, since Draco assures me, he would not drink anymore alcohol and that he will take care that I don’t drink too much either. I want the evening to never end.

* * *

 

When I wake up the next morning the first thing I know is, that I am back in my own bed. The second, that it isn’t morning at all. I try to sit up, but a massive headache makes me lie back down. Thanks Draco. The longer I am awake, the more memories come back. The first ones are the most unpleasant. As soon as I remember Ron, I wish the alcohol back. I shake my head at myself. Then the memories of last night come swarming in and a warm, fuzzy feeling spreads through me.

I lie there, trying to relive last night, when the door suddenly opens. Still not completely rid of my tent-day reflexes, I shoot up and frantically look for my wand. I immediately regret it when I see that it’s only Draco, because of whom I now have the worst headache in human history. “Slept well?” He asks with a smirk and I stretch out my tongue toward him. He laughs before coming toward me and handing me a glass of some, dangerously green looking, semi-liquid. “Drink.” He nudges me and laughs when he sees my horrified expression. “I spelled it tasteless. It’s an anti-hangover potion.” I nod, having read about the abhorrent potion before and try downing it in one swallow. The result of this is me spluttering the green liquid everywhere. Most of it lands on Draco’s face, which makes me laugh so much, that the little bit that had stayed in my mouth lands on the few still clean splotches of Draco’s skin.

It takes him a while, but when he finally laughs, the sound makes me warm and seems to eradicate my headache. Or maybe it’s the bit of potion I actually managed to swallow. Who cares. We sit there laughing for quite some time, before Draco suggests having afternoon tea.

Afternoon tea is offered every Sunday and you can decide whether to take it in the great hall or in your room. I call Dobby to ask him to bring us some scones and tea and get dressed in my bathroom while Draco scans my bookshelves and cleans himself, as well as the room with a quick spell.

I sit across from Draco at the small, round table we had transformed my desk into. “So, did I do or say anything absolutely embarrassing or stupid yesterday?” I ask, half dreading the answer. “Well…” He draws out the word and leans back in his chair. “You said a lot of things.” I cringe at the way he says it, bracing for the worst. “But most of it were very smart observations like the fact that:” he clears his throat, “you have very beautiful eyes, Draco.” He mocks my voice. I laugh and try to look mad, but the situation is just too ridiculous. We crack up for the second time that day.

We are interrupted by Ginny, who looks very sheepish when entering the room, which is so unlike her that I immediately stop laughing. “Gin, what’s wrong?” “Harry’s here to talk to you.” The raven-haired pushes through the door already looking quite angry, but when he sees Draco, his whole face seems to explode with wrath. He stays silent though, brings his expression under control and continues walking toward me. “Hermione.” He says, his voice soft. “What’s going on? I wanted to talk to you yesterday after you didn’t come to breakfast, but I couldn’t find you and Ron,” I try not to wince, and fail, “said he hadn’t seen you. Then Ginny hexed him at lunch and after that Dean and Seamus kept me from getting to your room. They said you needed ‘space’ whatever that means. And today you miss breakfast and lunch again, everybody seems to hate Ron, and nobody will tell me what’s going on.” Ginny looks at me apologetically and I know that it was her, who had told the rest of the house what had happened. Everyone except Harry, because he was still my best friend and I had to tell him myself. I nod at the blonde to convey my forgiveness and after shooting me an encouraging smile, she leaves the room. Draco excuses himself as well, promising to see me at dinner.

Harry is still staring after my new friend, when I ask him to sit down, where the other had just been sitting. As soon as he does, I start my story, not wanting this to last any longer than absolutely necessary. Halfway through my tale I see Harry twitching with the urge to go and hit Ron in the head as hard as possible, but he stays and listens. I leave nothing out, telling him every detail that happened since Friday afternoon. Well, the thing about the beautiful eyes I do keep to myself.

“I can’t believe Ron would do such a thing.” “Me neither. I still can’t. I keep thinking it was a bad dream. But it wasn’t and I… I cannot listen to his explanation yet.” Harry nods understandingly and comes over to hug me. “I love you, Mione. And if he ever gets close to you again, I will personally kill him, whether he is my best friend or not.” I smile through a veil of tears. “I love you too, Harry.”

Five minutes later, I am alone. Harry had to leave for Quidditch practice, but I am glad about it, in a way. I fall back on my bed, thinking about all of the things that had happened in the last two days. It seems like such a ridiculously short amount of time for so much to happen. After a while I get up to get ready for dinner.


	5. A special surprise

I sit at the table, surrounded by so many people that I feel a bit uncomfortable. Nearly all of Gryffindor is either sitting or standing around me, trying to protect me from Ron. They all look very Bodyguard like, and I am tempted to actually spell them suits and little earpiece replicas.   
The inside of my small circle of protection is even weirder than the actual circle of protection. (Yes, they named it that themselves.) Harry, in an actual suit for his date with Ginny that they would later have, Ginny, blond and with a full face of make-up, as well as a dress, which’s neckline is probably not great hall appropriate, and Draco, who, in just being here makes up two thirds of the weirdness.

“Please, guys, I want to be alone for a bit. Just go up, I’ll be about five minutes behind you.” The CoP (They did not understand why I laughed, when they presented me with this short form of their ‘organisation’) starts walking up the stairs reluctantly. I sigh and turn back to Draco. Ginny and Harry had already left to go to Hogsmeade and now finally the rest of Gryffindor is also gone. “Thank you.” I say, for what must’ve been the billionth time these last few days. Draco smiles, and before he turns and vanishes down to the dungeons, I kiss him on the cheek.

I enjoy the silence while climbing the stairs, losing myself in my thoughts. I am yanked out of them brutally when I run into the one person I did absolutely not want to run into. We are both sitting on the floor and it takes me a minute to form words. But he speaks first. “Mione, please, I...”

I erupt. All of the sadness, the hurt and the anger is let free and I scream: “Shut the fuck up, Ronald Weasley. You don’t call me Mione ever again, you fucking wanker. You don’t even deserve to ever talk to me.”

Despite the great feeling I have, when screaming at him, I can feel tears in my eyes when I turn to run away. And run into yet another Person. Draco takes my arm, turns around to Ron and hisses: “You are lucky Hermione is here to keep me from bashing your head in. But touch her one more time and I promise that you’re never going to see sunlight again, Weasley.” Then he puts his arm around my shoulder and ushers me with him toward the library. Tears continue falling on the floor, but I stay silent.

* * *

 

“Sit down.” His voice is soothing, and seems to have a calming effect on me. I sit on the chair next to him and am glad that so late at night nobody is here to witness my misery. For a while I just silently cry into my hands, listening to Draco talk about nothing.

“Let me bring you to your tower.” He says and takes my hands away from my face, into his. I shake my head. “I said I would go up alone. I need to do this.” “Hermione, please be reasonable…” “Draco, you already followed me once. I am grateful, but you can’t always be around to protect me. Let me do this on my own.” My voice is still roughed up from the crying, but I manage to pack some sort of authority into it. Reluctantly, Draco nods.

“Fine. But if you need me, you know where my room is.” We part at the stairs and I watch him go down, before I start my own climb upwards. I go slowly, feeling like all energy had left me. I’m scared of what will await me in my own tower, and also so sad, that I feel it will never go away. Sweat is running down my forehead and wet hair sticks uncomfortably to my face. I don’t want to go on. I take one more step, before I fall, and everything goes black.

* * *

 

“Is she going to be okay?” I can hear voices around me, but it’s as if they were three rooms away. I try to listen or to open my eyes, but exhaustion takes me back into the darkness.

I can feel a hand in mine, the other thumb making little circles on my wrist. I want to see who it is and even though it feels like the hardest thing I ever had to do, my eyes finally open. “Madame Pomfrey! Come quickly.” I don’t have to look anymore, I would recognize that voice everywhere. “Draco.” I whisper. Speaking hurts, so I shut up and just look at him.

The healer’s steps are fast and soon she is standing over me, holding a glass of water out for me. I prop myself up and take a gulp while the mediwitch swings her wand. The numbers and symbols coming out of it seem to please her. “Miss Granger, you are fully healed. I would recommend staying the night though.” She disappears just as fast as she had come, and I look at Draco.

“You don’t know what happened do you?” He asks, and I shake my head, still a bit too weak to speak. “You broke down, and fell down a flight of stairs. Thankfully the injuries weren’t very serious. Madame Pomfrey fixed you up in no time, but you stayed asleep. I was worried you were in some sort of coma, but Pomfrey said your body just needed the time to get over the psychological as well as physical trauma it went through.”

“Also, we had to tell Dumbledore what happened, and he dismissed you as head girl,” At that I try to say something, but Draco shushes me, “Just until you’re better. For now, Hannah Abbott got the post. Also, I made Dumbledore give us private Quarters. First, he wanted to give them to Weasley, but I thought that would be too much of a privilege for that bastard to have. Dumbledore agreed, and he also agreed that you couldn’t be living on your own. So, we’re roomies now.” He grins, and I want to join in, but another thought comes to my mind.

“Draco.” I’m still hoarse and drink more water before I continue. “How long was I out?” I dread the answer. “About three days.” He says and cringe. That means that today is Wednesday. I missed three days of school. Three days of homework that I have to catch up with. Draco seems to read my face, because he says: “Don’t worry, I have all of Harry and Seamus’s notes here.” I grin at him and relax back into the pillows. Rooming with Draco sounds like the exact thing I need right now, and in old roomie fashion I start a pillow fight.

We laugh and squeak and at some point, Madame Pomfrey rushes out to shut us up. “Mr. Malfoy you should really go. A shower would be appropriate after three days of sitting here.” She crumples her nose and disappears back into her quarters. I stare at Draco, completely forgetting the pillow in my hands. “You stayed here for three days?” I ask. He nods and kisses me on the cheek before disappearing through the doors, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Madame Pomfrey comes out again after a while and I ask her whether I could, pretty please, already leave tonight. She reluctantly agrees. The time until dinner I spend reading Harry and Seamus’s notes. Thankfully they had mostly revised old stuff and everything else wasn’t too hard.

When the sun sets Pomfrey returns one last time, checks if everything is okay and then releases me to dinner.

* * *

 

When I open the doors, everything goes silent. At least briefly, before the students start whispering. Their eyes follow me all the way to my table where Draco, Harry and Ginny are already waiting surrounded by the CoP. I still think it’s a bit ridiculous, but they mean well. When I sit down, Draco whispers in my ear: “We can go sit with the Slytherins too, if you want.” He eyes Ron, who is sitting at the other end of the table and I nod. I can feel this is important to him, and he did so much for me, I just can’t say no. When we get up, Ginny follows suit and as trio we approach the Slytherin table.

“Hmm, Granger don’t like it over there anymore?” Zabini asks. “You know Zabini, it’s just so boring over there. After all, we don’t have you to pester us with questions. You’re the true reason I’m here.” Draco grins at me, and Zabini looks at me at least a little bit impressed. With a smile I finish my dinner.

The Slytherins treat me and Ginny surprisingly polite, if a bit cold. Blaise and Ginny seem to get along quite well actually, and I have Draco to talk to.

Finding our quarters turns out to be a bit difficult but finally we stop in front of a picture of a very wise looking lady. “Dumbledore said we could chose the password ourselves.” He looks at me and I start thinking. “Buckbeak.” I say after a few minutes and Draco groans. The woman in the picture nods and swings open. We enter into the common room, which is nearly as big the Gryffindor one.

The first thing I notice is a small kitchen in one corner of the room. I begin exploring it, and there is a toaster, a sink, a modern oven and an electric kettle. There are more plates and cutlery than we could ever use and there is even a refrigerator. I turn to Draco and smile at him. “Did you do this?” I ask.

I had told him that I miss cooking on Saturday. He nods, and I can’t believe my luck. I hug him. “Thank you.” I mumble into his shirt. He waves it off and I continue my exploring. There are multiple bookshelves filled with school books, but also many fictional ones, written by both muggle and magical authors. On the other side of the room was a fireplace with two sofas standing before it. Draco is lying on one, watching me. I sit down at the little desk next to the bookshelves and look at him.

“You like it?” He asks, voice like honey and I have to be careful not to make a very disgraceful noise at him. “Like it? Draco, I love it! This is the absolutely best thing that ever happened to me!” I take out a book and squeal a bit. It’s Pride & Prejudice, my favourite book of all time. I show it to Draco and he laughs. “I wouldn’t have taken you for the Jane Austen kinda girl.” “You know Jane Austen?”  He nods and gets up. “Wanna see your room?”

The room is red. Very red. I try to ignore that fact and look around. All of my pictures are on and over the little desk, my books are in a shelf next to it. When I open the armoire all my clothes are in there. Blushing, I realise I am giving Draco a straight look at my underwear and close the doors again. Next to it is a door that leads to the bathroom.

It is gigantic! It is similar to the prefect one, only the swimming pool is missing. There are two sinks with a huge mirror over them, a bathtub so big, it could be a whirlpool and a shower, which is so big, it could be a room of its own. There is a second door on the other side, which I suspect leads to Draco’s room.

I brush my teeth next to Draco before falling into my bed, exhausted. My head is pounding, and I feel drained of all energy, even though I had just slept for three days. At one point I fall asleep.

I wake up screaming like a banshee. It takes a few moments until I know where I am, and I am still sitting on my bed sweating and panting when Draco enters the room. “Hermione, are you okay?” He sprints toward my bed and hugs me. I start crying again. In my dream I had been back in the corridor with Ron, but Draco hadn’t come. I had called for him, tried to will him there with my mind, but he hadn’t come. “Do you need to go back to the hospital wing?” He asks, and I shake my head. “But can you stay here for tonight. I don’t want to… be alone.” I say, and he just nods and gets under the cover behind me. “Night Mione.” He whispers. “Night Draco.” I answer. That was the first night I spent with Draco Malfoy.


	6. Christmas

I can feel him watching me and open my eyes. “Watcha doin?” The look on Draco’s face makes me laugh. “Not funny.” He growls, and I giggle even more. We stay in bed for a little while longer before realising that we only have about half an hour left until breakfast.

It takes me longer than usual to get ready, partially because the new surroundings still have me a tad confused. When I exit into the common room Draco is already waiting for me. He looks at me as if I am an alien. Admittedly I could be. I had changed quite a bit on my school uniform. The skirt is shorter, the blouse tighter and my tie is loosely hanging in front of my breasts, which I had stuffed into a very padded bra. I am also wearing high heels, which will probably turn out to be the worst idea ever, but I’d felt like dolling up today. “You coming?” I ask Draco from the portrait. He nods and follows me to breakfast.

I can feel people staring on our way there. “Draco, why is everybody staring at me?” I ask the blond. He stifles a laugh, then steps in front of me to get me to stop. “Mione, not to criticise or anything, but you do realize that the change in your uniform will, whether you want it or not, attract a lot of boy’s attention.” I look at him, before shrugging and continuing to walk to breakfast.

To be honest, I’d just wanted to feel a bit sexier. I’d liked how I’d felt in Ginny’s dress and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel like that every day. I try to convince myself of just that while I slide into my seat at the Slytherin table. “Hot outfit.” Blaise adds a whistle to his comment and I roll my eyes at him. “Shut up.” He grins and continues to butter his toast.

* * *

 

“So? How was the first night.” It takes me a minute to realize that Ginny doesn’t know about me sleeping in a bed with Draco and that she is probably just talking about the new room. “It was… great. It’s just very different. There’s nobody here except for us and it’s just such a great feeling to be able to do whatever I want. Also, when I want to study, there is nobody here distracting me.” Ginny giggles. “You sure? I mean Draco Malfoy looks like he could be very distracting if he wanted. You think he has a six pack?” I hit my best friend with a pillow. We are sitting on one of the couches, drinking butterbeer and catching up with each other. I’ve only been in these quarters for a day, but I am already constantly forgetting that there is a school around us, and that I am not actually rooming somewhere in London with Draco.

“Different topic!” I urge, while Ginny is still giggling about Draco’s fictional six pack. “What’s going on between you and Harry? You never did tell me what happened on that date.” Ginny shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, I definitely like him and all, but it’s just… I mean there was always just him for me, even while I dated Dean and haven’t even had a chance to look at all of the other possibilities out there. Also… Mione, there is something I need to tell you…” I nod, urging her to go ahead. “Mione I think I might be… bi.” I look at her and smile. “Thanks for telling me Gin. But I kinda thought so when you didn’t stop talking about Luna for three straight months two years ago.” Ginny grins and hits me with a pillow. “Know-it-all.”

Draco interrupts us about half an hour later in the middle of a full-blown pillow fight. Instead of frowning or scolding us, like I’d thought he would, he joined right in. We are all sweating and breathing hard by the time Draco and I finally defeated Ginny. Also, we’re hungry, since we missed dinner. I decide to cook something to put my new kitchen to use. It isn’t the most elaborate dish, since all of us are too hungry to wait for longer for something to eat, but Spaghetti is something you don’t get at Hogwarts. Draco seems to be completely new to it, and eyes them suspiciously before taking a small bite. I grin at him, already having eaten nearly all of mine. He grins back, and I get all tingly. I don’t see Ginny smiling at us.

“Bye hun.” I shout after Ginny, looking at her disappear behind a corner on her way to Gryffindor tower, leaving me alone with Draco. Strangely, that makes me quite nervous. “I’m… going to bed. Is it ok, if I use the bathroom first?” I ask, avoiding looking into his eyes. Ever since dinner I’d been wary of that feeling I got whenever he and I shared a look. Or a touch. He nods, and I flee the living room as fast as I can. By Merlin, this is going to be a wild ride.

I am still wide-awake hours later. I’d do anything to go to sleep, but the fear of my dreams keeps me awake. It would be so nice to feel his warmth behind me, I think. But sleeping in a bed with him once is more than enough.

* * *

 

Days pass into weeks. My nightmares get less and less and often times I am too exhausted to sleep anyway. I spend hours playing Exploding Snap with Harry and Ginny (who are all over each other) and occasionally even Blaise (who seems angered about abovementioned fact), studying with Draco, in whom I think to have found the perfect study partner. He never complains about the workload and only asks questions that lead to very interesting discussions about the roots of magic and many more things. Christmas is fast approaching and before I know it the last day of term has arrived.

There are about 30 students left in the castle, none, except for Blaise and Draco, people that I know. Harry had gone to the Burrow with Ginny, both of them determined to ignore Ron for the duration of their stay. When Ginny had asked me if she wanted me to tell Molly what happened, I told her the same thing I had told Draco, when he’d asked if we should tell the teachers. That Ron may have done something absolutely horrifying and that I knew it was stupid and naïve, but that I didn’t want to see him punished. I was sure he had an explanation, which I wanted to hear, before deciding on anything. Ginny looked at me as if I was completely crazy, then hugged me goodbye. Now I am standing in the entry hall, surrounded by the rest of the student body. “Blaise, you wanna come up and play some cards?” I ask, not wanting to be alone with Draco, in case I get the tingly feeling again. He looks at me as if to say he’s sorry and then nods at two giggling Hufflepuff girls standing on the other end of the hall. “I have… business to attend to. Sorry.” I grin at him and he winks before wandering off and putting his arms around both of the girls. “Let’s go.” I jump a bit when Draco whispers in my ear, but follow him to our rooms.

We’re sitting in front of the fireplace, talking about the news that had been in the Daily Prophet that morning. All of the convicted death eaters were sentenced to the Dementor’s kiss. “I think it’s only fair.” Draco murmurs. I look at him, not believing what I had just heard. “Draco, you can’t be serious. I mean one of them’s your father!” He avoids looking at me, instead staring into the fire grimly. “Well, good riddance then.”

I get up. “Draco, you can’t possibly be serious. I mean, I know your father can’t have been the kindest or most caring, but still… I mean he is your father.” Now Draco gets up, backing a step away from me, before shouting: “A father? Granger, you can’t possibly be serious. Do fathers use the cruciatus on their children? Do they make their children follow the lead of a crazy megalomaniac? Do they force their children to torture people to death?” Tears are streaming down his face and I nearly can’t bear to look at him. “Draco, I’m sorry, I didn’t know...” I try to take a step toward him, but he backs away.

“Forget it. I’m going to bed, Mione.” He turns and starts walking but I cry out to him. “Draco? Can I come with you?” He turns and looks at me quizzically, as if daring me to voice the exact thing I want from him. “To bed, I mean.” I mumble, and when he nods, I rush past him, into his bedroom and then into the bath. I don’t lock the door, though. God knows why.

We get into bed together, lying with as much space between us as possible. “Night Draco.” I mumble. There’s no answer, so I turn away from him and close my eyes. I can’t sleep though. Too many thoughts are occupying my brain. So, when Draco leans over, kisses my head and mumbles “Night Mione.” I’m still wide awake. I lie there not daring to move, even though all I want is turn around and kiss him back. After a while he lies back down, this time a bit closer to me. Seconds later I can hear that he’s asleep.

The next morning we decide to have breakfast in our quarters. So while Draco writes a note to Blaise, inviting him up, I whip up some waffles. Half an hour later the Italian is standing in our common room and we sit down at the table together and start eating. “Man, Mione those are some of the best waffles I’ve ever eaten. What’s your secret?” I smile at Blaise mischievously. “Love, Blaise. Just love.” “Oh then my dearest lady, would you deign to share some of that love with me, for I am a loveless poor man.” I giggle and box Blaise.

Christmas is getting closer and I start thinking about a present for Draco. I don’t know whether I even should. But in the end I decide that, of course I should, after all, we are friends now. So, when, on a weekend in Hogsmeade, I see a beautiful Eaglefeatherquill, I don’t even hesitate to buy it. It’s the perfect gift. Elegant and not too personal.

When Christmas morning has finally arrived, I am awoken by a very loudly squealing Draco. “Wake up, wake up, wake up! Mione, there’s so many presents!” Like a child he is hopping up and down around my bed. Weren’t he so happy, I would’ve probably told him to let me sleep. Last night had accidentally turned into quite the party, and I was tired and hungover.

When I enter the common room ten minutes later, there’s a huge Christmas tree, right next to the kitchen. It hadn’t been here last night… It was decorated with green, silver, red and gold baubles and fake icicles were glittering in the sunlight that streamed from the windows. “It’s beautiful.” I whisper. Only then I notice the pile of presents lying beneath it.

Draco is already sitting before the tree, opening his presents. He hands me one. “Look Mione, this is yours. Oh wait… It’s from the Weasel.” I sit down next to him, and try to ignore all of Ron’s presents. Which is kinda hard, since he had sent a lot of them, as if it could make up for what he did.

In the end, I still have quite the impressive pile of new stuff. Harry had given me a sugar quill and a new book about transfiguration and Ginny had given me one about men. I had to chuckle at that. From Draco I had gotten a book, featuring me and the war against Voldemort. Draco himself seems very happy with his new quill.

We spend the morning with Blaise, breaking in his new set of Exploding Snap. When lunchtime comes around we leave the comfort of our common room and make our way to the great hall. Instead of the house tables, there is one big, round table where Dumbledore, McGonagall and Hagrid are already seated. Slowly, the others begin to arrive as well.

After a short speech from Dumbledore, the table is weighed down with everything the house elves can prepare. Christmas pudding is right next to turkey and chicken roast and next to that there are heaps of ice cream. Wizard crackers are lying next to baked potatoes and mash. The food is delicious and when we finish, none of us seems able to walk.

That ends quickly though, when we decide to have a snowball fight outside. Everyone against everyone and it’s nearly two hours before we tread back inside, frozen but happy. “I’ll leave you two alone then. It was a pleasure as always. Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy.” Blaise pretends to pull an invisible hat for us and then vanishes in the direction of the dungeons.

While we make our way back to our quarters, we talk about New Year’s Eve. All Seventh Years, and everybody else who got invited, are going to return on the day before New Year’s. Everyone helps with the preparations of the party, put up charms, so nobody can hear what’s going on, buy fire whiskey or tell the house elves what to do. It wasn’t as if the teachers didn’t know, they just asked not to be involved in anything party related.

On the day of the party, I was awake early. I had never been a party girl, the Yule ball in fourth year being the only one I ever attended, even thought the Slytherins had often enough organised one. Alcohol, Drugs and Sex had been the mottos of those, and it just hadn’t been my scene. That was to change today though.


	7. Parties and Pansy

I run around nervously all day, not really able to concentrate. A whole hour before the ordeal is to begin I meet up with Ginny in my room to get ready. Since Ginny and I are now both seven years, theoretically, she is allowed to come too. Ginny helps me with my make up once again and also does the shiny thing with my hair again.

In the end I am wearing a sleeveless top with a very short skirt. I have my pair of high heels on and my lips are blood red. My eyes are surrounded by a deep, sparkling black. Ginny next to me looks like my opposite. Her blond hair is styled in a tight up do, her eyes pink with eyeliner. Her lips are done in a nude and her dress has a long, flowing skirt. Her neckline though… I am guessing that she will be many boys’ highlight of the evening.

Draco, Blaise and Harry are already waiting in the common room. As group we make our way to the dungeons, since this year it’s Slytherin’s turn to host. Together we enter the already decorated common room. There are garlands everywhere, and some people are passing out party hats. There’s not much going on yet, so we decide to sit down in some chairs at the edge of the dance floor and just talk for a while.

In the next hour the dungeon fills up, the music, which had been playing silently in the background until now, got turned up and we finally went to dance. Again, I lost myself in the music and the people and lost track of how long we danced, or how much we had to drink. This time though, Draco was drinking with me. When I start wobbling on my way to the bar though, I decide to settle for a glass of water instead. The first gulp already clears my head a bit and I am standing a bit safer. Soon Draco appears next to me. “Wanna dance again?” He asks, “Only us two, this time.” I nod eagerly, all shyness fallen off me.

* * *

 

_Ooh, just the thought of you gets me so high, so high_

Draco and I start moving to the melody of the music, not caring who is around us.

_I want you to want me_

Draco is coming closer, slowly.

_And if you want, hey girl, you got me_

I can see his grey eyes now. They promise safety, warmth and also lust.

_There's nothing I know I wouldn't do, I wouldn't do_

Wait. Not lust. No matter how close we had gotten these last few months, that was too much.

_Just to get up next you_

If I could just get rid of the feeling in my stomach.

_Girl, you don't want_

We are still dancing, his hands now on my hips. Right now, we are the only people in existence.

_I want you to want me_

When I see Ginny grinning at us, I blush and take a step away from Draco. He pulls me right back, though.

_And if you want, hey girl, you got me_

Even though the music is fast, we are dancing a slow waltz

_There's nothing I know I wouldn't do, I wouldn't do_

“We should do this more often.”

_Just to get up next you_

Something in me answers to the tone of his voice, something I hadn’t know before.

_Just to get up next you_

Finally, the song ends. I nearly push Draco off me. “Sorry.” I whisper. But then my apology is interrupted by a magically enforced voice that tells us it’s only ten minutes until midnight.

Nine minutes

Draco hands me another drink, which I down without thinking.

Eight minutes.

This is Draco Malfoy, Malfoy, MALFOY! My head is screaming, but my body doesn’t listen. We are nearly fully touching now.

Six minutes

Our noses are nearly touching, thanks to the high heels, that make us the same height.

Three minutes

Around us, people are getting excited. But we don’t notice. Between us, there’s a nearly magical tension.

One minute

Three… Two… One… Finally, it’s midnight. All around us couples and strangers are kissing, but the connection between us seems broken. Blushing, I am looking at the floor.

Suddenly, the CoP rushes over to me, some noticeably drunk, but still eager to protect me. They build their circle around me in a matter of seconds, while Luna ushers Ron out of the room. I am grateful for them, especially because everybody held true to their promise to not tell the teachers, even though most of them still think I’m crazy for refusing to talk to somebody. After the redhead is gone, Draco and I decide to go and sit down again.

The room is slowly emptying again. Most of them are going to be back later though, but now they are seeking the privacy of the Slytherin dorms. “Were you ever present? When the party happened, I mean?” I ask, seriously curious. Draco is watching a couple that is climbing the stairs to the dorms rather slowly, kissing on nearly every step. “Once. Blaise was here too. We were in third year and had to remain in our dorm, together with two giggling first years. We didn’t hear much, but had decided that we didn’t want that anyway.” He doesn’t seem comfortable talking about it, why ever, so I begin talking myself.

“I was here once too. Second year. Harry and Ron had gone to Hagrid’s, but I had been curious. I should have locked myself in the dorm as well, but… the charm misfunctioned.” I grin at the memory. “Anyway, around midnight two Ravenclaws entered my room. They didn’t see me and began to make out. I only said something when they had started undressing. They then vanished pretty quickly.”

Draco’s smiling. “I knew it. Mione, you’re just as perverted as all of us.” I grin. When Ginny and Harry join us, I am already dreading Draco’s version of my tale, that he has surely already spun in his head to show my “perverted” side. But instead, he just asks them how they find the party. Harry, who is still only reluctantly accepting the blond’s presence, grunts. While Ginny starts telling us the newest gossip of what has already happened here tonight, I watch Draco. His face is really beautiful up close. His nose is straight, his eyes big and full of feeling. His lips… oh how delicious his lips look in this light… I shake my head and stand up to dance for one last time, before we return to our quarters.

Ginny, Harry and Blaise, all dedicated to not let us out of their sight, decide to spend the night at our place. Blaise and Harry are trying to transform the two couches into beds, while I tell Ginny to take my bed. Eventually they give up, though. She gives me a wink, before offering Harry a place in my bed. I grin, and follow Draco into his.

My head is spinning the next morning and I have to make myself leave the warmth of Draco’s bed, to get something to drink. Eyes still half closed, I traipse into the common room. I ignore Blaise who is still snoring on the couch and call for Dobby. Stupidly, I had forgotten the noise with which house elves apparated, and wince when the elf appears.

“Miss Granger!” His voice is as high as ever and I have to half cover my ears, so that I don’t wince again. “I heard of you and Mr. Wheezy. Dobby is heartbroken. How can Dobby help Miss today?” I smile at the elf, and ask him for coffee and whatever breakfast they have. Just before he disappears again, I ask him for the Daily Prophet as well. Dobby nods, and disapparates with the same loud noise.

“Are you fucking crazy?” Blaise asks. “How late is it, anyway?” He sits up on the couch, rubbing at his eyes. “Don’t be so loud! About ten, I guess.” Now the Italian is full on grinning. “Well, well, Granger is hungover. Who would’ve thought I’d live to see the day.” I roll my eyes and start pulling out plates from out cupboards. Awoken from the noise, Ginny and Harry exit my bedroom just before Draco exits his. “What’s goin on?” Ginny asks, her voice sounding rough.

Ten minutes later all of us are sitting around the round dining table, bread, waffles, strawberries and sausages in front of us. After I had a cup of coffee, as well as some hangover potion, my head feels normal again, and I start reading the Daily Prophet. With disinterest I skim the first few pages, until a heading catches my eye. “That bitch!” “What’s wrong?” Blaise asks, so I begin to read aloud.

**The death eater and the war hero**

_Hermione Granger (17) and Draco Malfoy (17), two teenagers, who couldn’t be more different, right? At least that’s what all of wizarding Britain thought. In the last few weeks the two have been sighted together more than a few times, sometimes even accompanied by the Boy Who Lived, Mr. Harry Potter himself. Rumours concerning the two are numerous. “They sometimes spend their breaks in the toilets.” An eyewitness told me. Someone else is convinced that the new ‘dream couple’ already had their first fight. So, who is to be believed? To answer this exact question, I asked fellow student and ex-girlfriend of Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, who told us: “They are basically glued to each other. Granger is even sitting at our table during the meals and Dumbledore has granted them secluded quarters.” Has Dumbledore gotten too many noise complaints concerning the two? The two are also said to have danced very closely at Hogwarts’ infamous New Year’s Eve party. Now we ask ourselves, is this indeed young love, or just an attempt at making peace between two rival houses, possibly planned by Dumbledore himself? To find out more go to page 11._

When I finish, four disbelieving faces are staring at me. “What? But… I thought you were just friends?” Ginny is such a good actress that I nearly believe her fake surprise, but Harry seems genuinely flabbergasted. “How does Rita Skeeter even get the news so fast?” Blaise throws in. Draco, who is already seething next to me, gets even grimmer. “Parkinson.” His voice is a dangerous growl. “Draco, what are you doing?” I ask, when he gets up. He doesn’t answer, but a look at his face is enough to shut me up. He’s going to punish Pansy and it wouldn’t be pretty to look at.


	8. Fights and Kisses

Helplessly we stare at the portrait hole the Slytherin had just vanished through. I wonder what he’s planning. To distract ourselves we decide to play exploding snap until he returns.

When he does, he does so grinning broadly. “What did you do?” I am immediately up, running toward him and then grip his shoulders. “Just wait and see.” He says, his grin widening. “Anyone want to take a walk?” Blaise nods, and to my surprise so does Harry. I decide to stay so that I can talk to Ginny.

* * *

 

“So, Gin… what’s up with you?” “Mione, I… I think I did something stupid.” Tears start filling her eyes. Immediately I pull her in a hug. “What’s wrong?” “I think I may have kissed Blaise.” My eyes widen in surprise. “But, Gin… when?” “Yesterday!” She howls, before putting her head back onto my shoulder to cry some more. “Ginny, I sincerely doubt that. You were with us all night last night.” She chuckles, and I think I convinced her. “Not all night. I went to the toilet once, and Blaise was there too, not in the toilets, obviously, but when I came out again, and we were drunk and this slow song came on… and then we kissed. I don’t think he remembers it…”

I shake my head. “It’s alright Ginny. You were drunk. It was a wild night. I’m sure Harry will understand.” She sniffles and wipes away her tears. “Thanks Mione. I guess I’ll tell him when he returns.” I smile at her. “But now tell me… How was it? Kissing a Slytherin, I mean.” A mischievious grin appears on her face and she pulls up one eyebrow. “Well… the rumours are certainly true. They are a lot… wilder than our boys.” I laugh and throw a pillow at her. She grins and hugs it. “But seriously… It really was different. Maybe just because Harry and Blaise are so different, but… oh I don’t know.” She grins a bit wider. “But I guess you’ll know how Slytherins kiss yourself pretty soon.”

I blush and hide my face in my hands. “Oh Ginny, I don’t know. I mean… I guess there is something between us, but… I don’t know if he really wants it. Or if I even want it.” “Just give it time. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.” I smile at her, still completely red. “Yeah, I guess.”

The three boys return about an hour later, just in time for us to have whipped up a quick meal. Ginny, who refused to learn anything about cooking from Mrs. Weasley because her brothers didn’t have to learn it either, and anyway she wasn’t even interested in cooking, hadn’t been a big help.

Ginny and Harry left pretty soon after dinner, and I wished her luck before they did. When Blaise left, dawn was already arriving. When he’s gone, I’m finally able to ask Draco what I have been wanting to ask him all day. “Draco?” “hmm?” “What did you do to Pansy?” My voice was very quiet and careful, but Draco laughed. “Oh Mione, the way you’re talking, you could think you think that I killed her.” I smiled. “I just told her friends about the Muggle she had a relationship with last summer.” He giggled to himself.

Anger exploded inside of me. “So what, having a relationship with a muggle is degrading and worth being fun of now? I thought you changed? I guess I was wrong.” I start turning away and marching to my room, but Draco grasps my wrist and pulls me back. “Mione, I’m sorry. Of course it’s not. For me at least, not anymore. But for someone like Pansy, it is. Especially with the friends she surrounds herself, it is a big deal. I should’ve thought, before telling you and I should’ve probably payed her back in a different way. But I was just so angry. Please, forgive me Mione. I’m really sorry.” I sigh, still fuming a bit.

But since his apology seems sincere we part ways in peace, but each one of us headed to their own room.

* * *

 

The next morning we are just sitting in the kitchen, eating breakfast – this time Draco had prepared it, surprising me with his ability to cook – when an owl knocks at the window. Draco lets it in, taking the parchment off it’s foot. “What is it?” I ask, when Draco seems to freeze.

“It’s… it’s a letter from my father.” I gasp, nearly spitting out the piece of sausage that was just in my mouth. “What does it say.” “He’s been released on good behaviour. And also our apparent relationship had something to do with it. He says that he’s proud of me for seducing you in such a clever manner and fixing our imagine.”

The next morning, school starts again. Thankfully, nobody really cares about the fact that Malfoy senior got released, since the whole school is over Pansy’s affair to a Muggle boy. Rumours are spreading like wildfire, each one more ridiculous than the other. I nearly feel bad for Pansy, but I cannot forgive what she did. So, I only take points from students laughing about her, when professors are near. Draco walks around in his typical, superior way for the first time in nearly a month.

After a week though, I have enough off it. Draco still hasn’t stopped releasing more and more rumours about his ex-girlfriend, not seeming to regret his actions at all. And when I step into the bathroom on Friday and hear somebody crying, who turns out to be Pansy, I know that I have to put an end to this.

Angry I storm through the halls, thinking about what exactly I will tell Draco. “Buckbeak.” I hiss when I finally arrive at the portrait to our rooms. “No need to let out your bad mood on me.” It answers, before opening. “Draco! Come here now!” My voice could’ve easily been magically enforced, I am that loud. “Whass goin on?” Draco topples out of his bedroom, in only boxers, rubbing at his eyes. He must’ve just taken a nap. I pause, briefly confused by his naked torso, before remembering why I am here. “This has to stop. I just heard PANSY crying in a bathroom. PANSY! I might’ve been funny in the beginning, but this has to stop. I thought you changed since the war is over. But no. You just changed your victims.”

* * *

 

Still fuming I stumble out of the portrait hole. “Mione I…” But I ignore him. And run right into Seamus Finnigan. “Hey Mione!” He says, grinning. “Hi, Seamus. What’s up?” I ask, trying to smile. But I’m still to angry at Draco, so I settle for a neutral expression. “So… I just wanted to ask you.. WoulduliketogotoHogsmeadewithme?” He asks this in one breath and I have to giggle a bit. “Seamus, I didn’t get a word of that.” 

He sighs and starts again. “I was wondering if maybe… you wanted to go to Hogsmeade this weekend… with me?” I stare at him, a bit confused. “Like a date?” He nods. Seamus? Asking me for a date? I am so confused that I say yes, without even thinking. Seamus hugs me quickly, before telling me where to meet him tomorrow. Then he turns, grinning broadly, and returns to his common room.

Still in shock, I turn and return to mine, completely forgotten that I had just had a fight with Draco. Perplexed he looks at me. I ignore him and storm into my room. I lie on my bed for a while, still seething, when suddenly a knock on the window yanks me out of my thought. It’s Ginny’s owl.

 _Hey Mione,_  
As much as I’d like to come and talk about what just happened, I have a lot to study. So let me just give you this one piece of advice. Please don’t let Seamus think he has a chance with you, when you really feel something for Draco. Don’t lead that poor boy on.   
I miss having you here.  
Love,  
Ginny

I grin, even though I’m still a bit mad. But Ginny is completely wrong. I don’t feel anything for Draco, except maybe anger. The rest must’ve been Hero worshipping, or whatever it was called.  I was probably just grateful for him saving me.

Pushing those thoughts away, I start pulling out different clothes and trying them on, attempting to find the perfect outfit for a casual day in Hogsmeade.

After a while, I hear a knock at the portrait hole. Before I can even put aside the dress I had just been holding, I hear Draco opening. “Weasel.” He hisses, and I wince a tiny bit. “I want to see Mione.” Ron’s voice is small, I can see his cowering form before me. It’s how he looks when Molly is angry at him. “Well…” Draco draws out the word as long as possible. “Dumbledore himself prohibited that, didn’t he?” I can hear his sneer from here.

“Please… Draco.” It’s audible that saying that name is hard for Ron, and I have to admit that I enjoy his squirming and discomfort a bit. I know that Draco is enjoying it as well, and that for nothing in the world he would let Ron through.

I exit my room and walk over to the portrait hole as confident as possible. Seeing him still makes me want to throw up, but somehow I manage to even keep my voice angry. There’s not a tremor in it. “Mione.” Ron sighs, but I interrupt. “Ronald, shut up. You listen to me. If I say I don’t want to see you, and even ask Dumbledore for help, then that fucking means that I really don’t want to see you. Do you understand? You fucking violated me!” My voice is shrill at the end, but I feel a bit better, screaming at him.

“At least I don’t hang out with Slytherin scum.” He makes the comment under his breath, but I can still hear it. “ARE YOU SERIOUS? You come here, not even ready to apologise – which, by the way, is really THE LEAST you can do – and then dare to insult my friend? And yes, he is. Because when you did what you did, he saved me. He sat with me in the hospital wing for three days, for gods sake. So, go Ron. I never want to see you again.”

Ron looks at me one last time, and then turns around and leaves. Tears are streaming down my cheeks and, forgetting the fight that happened, Draco takes me into his arms. “Are you sure that you don’t want to tell the teachers?” he whispers, but I shake my head. As smart and rational as people always paint me, I am lead by my feelings with this. I still don’t really want Ron to get hurt. Draco sighs, but continues to hug me. “I still don’t want to lose him.” I sob while Draco strokes my back. “I understand you.” And even though I know that he doesn’t, hearing it helps.

Eventually, I calm down. Draco makes tea for us both and we sit down in front of the fireplace. “Thanks.” I mumble when he hands me my mug. He smiles at me. “Mione?” “Hm?” “Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow.” I blush, my whole body tingling. He looks at me so hopefully, that I hate myself for what I’m about to say. “Draco, I’m so sorry. But I’m kind of going with Seamus.”

His whole face changes immediately. “Well then, have fun.” He says coolly and get’s up. “I’m going to bed. And don’t dare follow me.” With those words he walks off and leaves me.

I hold back the tears with all my might. Why did that have to happen all in one night? I sigh and walk into the bathroom to get ready for bed. I can’t fall asleep for hours, thinking about everything that happened and how things can go to shit so quickly.

 I am awoken by an owl. It’s Ginny’s once again. That girl has to be a seer, because the letter only says: _Hurry, Seamus is on his way._

I get up quickly, run into the bathroom to at least wash my face before putting on the outfit I had thankfully decided on the previous night. I don’t do make-up, not in the mood to bother with it today. The minute I’m done dressing, there’s a knock on my door. “Granger, it’s for you.” Draco’s voice is still cold. I walk out the door quickly, not looking at him.

Seamus is waiting for me with a grin and a single daisy. He hands it to me, and I grin back. We make our way to the entry hall, all the while talking about transfiguration. Apparently Seamus is seriously interested in the topic. “McGonagall advised me to become either a teacher or an Auror. To be honest, I’d really like to become an Auror.” I smile and answer, curious as to how I could’ve not noticed his genuine passion for magic.

We immediately enter the three broomsticks, shivering with the cold. Seamus goes off to get us some Butterbeer, while I search for seats. As soon as he comes back we talk about the NEWT’s, the teachers, but also books. The more I find out about him, the more I start to like him. But I also notice that for me there’s no spark in it. Yes, I would like to hang out with him more often now, but as friends.

I think about how to tell him exactly that while we walk back to the castle, but still haven’t it figured out by the time we arrive in front of the portrait. “I had a lot of fun today.” Seamus whispers, his face uncomfortably close to mine. “Me too.” I say, wanting to add something, but by then his lips are on mine. Shocked, I stand there, not able to move.

He pulls away soon, but apparently oblivious to the fact that I am not into him. “Night, Miss Granger.” He winks at me and then turns around and walks away. I sigh before I enter the common room.

“Had fun, I suppose?” Draco’s voice makes me even more agitated and I answer: “Yes, indeed.” And storm off, leaving Draco behind, leaving it all behind.


	9. Marriage

I am lying awake and look at the ceiling. I still don’t know how I am supposed to tell Seamus that I don’t want to be with him in the way that he wants to be with me. He’s just not what I want. I know, in my heart, that what I want is in the room next to mine, but I don’t want to accept that just yet, I think. For hours, I try to fall asleep and when I finally do, my dreams are filled with Draco calling me a mudblood again and Ron doing what he did over and over, while Draco is laughing at my screams.

When I wake up, my head is hurting like hell. I get up to get one of my healing potions and walk into the kitchen in my pyjamas for some water. I let the kitchen whip up some waffles with some spells I learned from Molly and read the paper. “DRACO MALFOY!” I bellow.

Confused he walks into the common room, again just in his boxers. “Oh for gods sake, get dressed when you come out here!” Draco smirks at that, but I’m still angry, so I just move on. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!” My voice is raised again, and now Draco’s face changes to confusion again. “What the hell are you talking about?” He asks. “The fucking article!” I shove the paper at his chest, removing my hand quickly before I have the chance to touch his bare skin. He starts reading aloud.

_The curious story around the young Draco Malfoy and the magically talented Hermione Granger seems to finally have been revealed. Just a short time ago Lucius Malfoy himself has said that the two of them have indeed fallen in love this last school year. But not only that. The two have even gotten engaged! Of course it was important to Mr. Malfoy junior to first ask the parents of his Beloved for her hand. Lucius Malfoy has also already met the two muggle doctors and only has the best of stories to tell about them. “I have made a lot of mistakes in the past. But through getting to know the Grangers I am trying to mend what I undoubtedly broke in the past.” Said the 45-year-old in a recent interview. The two turtledoves themselves haven’t given a statement yet, but it is to hope that, after the two have spend enough time alone, that they will tell us all about their love story._

I look at Draco, my eyes sparkling with fury. “So? Anything to say to your defense?” “I didn’t know about this Mione, I swear.” In that moment an owl comes swooping into the room and drops a letter in front of Draco. He picks it up, eying me sideways before reading it. “It’s from my father… He says…” Draco swallows. “He says that I should do an interview with Rita to make our engagement official. And… I’m supposed to marry you.” He looks positively appalled at that statement. “Well since that seems to be such a horrible idea to you, you better go and write to your father. If you excuse me, I’ll go and look for Seamus!” I walk out of the room, not really wanting to talk to Seamus, but knowing that it will infuriate Draco.

I decide to go and find Blaise instead of Seamus, still not sure how to reject the later. I stroll through the castle leisurely and tell off some students for doing magic in the corridors and at one point reach the dungeons. Since I know all of the passwords (an advantage of having been Headgirl) I just walk into the common room. “Hey Mione!” Blaise calls to me. “Come and sit with us!”

Us? Who’s us? But the moment I see the Slytherin, I also see who he is with. A brown haired Ravenclaw is occupying the Italian’s lap. “So…” I say, cocking up one eyebrow. “Who’s this?” Blaise smiles, blushing, before removing the other boy’s mouth from his neck. The boy looks up, sees me, and blushes as well. “Hi.” He says, shoving his arm out for me to grab. I take it, and smile at him. “I’m Hermione.” He nods and says: “I’m Jack.” I let myself fall onto one of the green chairs and watch the Ravenclaw scramble off of his lover’s lap hurriedly.

“So…?” I ask, curious as to how this happened. “Well…” I enjoy Blaise’s stuttering and lean back to watch him squirm under my look. “I met Jack, like, a week ago and well… it kind of clicked?” I smile at them and give a curt nod, before moving on to the topic I had originally come here to discuss. “So, have you read the Daily Prophet yet?” I ask them and when they both shake their heads, I start telling them about Malfoy Senior’s plan.

“He didn’t do that?” Blaise is clearly furious, walking up and down in front of Jack and me. “Well yes. And you should have seen Draco read that letter. He looked positively appalled at the prospect of marrying me.” I wish there it didn’t, but a tear forces it’s way out of my eye. “It looked… as if it was the worst thing he ever had to do.” I let out a small sob. Blaise stops, squats down and puts his arms on my shoulders. “Mione, no! Firstly, marrying you would be the luckiest thing that bastard would ever get to do. You should know that, Miss-smartest-witch-in-Hogwarts.” I smile at him weakly. “And secondly, I think it’s more the fact that Lucius wants you to get married.” I nod and hug Blaise. He hugs me back fiercely and I remember what the Sorting Hat once said. ‘Or perhaps in Slytherin; you’ll make your real friends’. And I think that he was right.

We walk to dinner, talking happily, Jack’s hand grasped tightly in Blaise’s. I feel the curious looks of the other students on me, it seems as though the article is all that is on their minds. Most of them don’t even try to lower their voices and point their fingers at me as if I was an animal in the zoo. When I walk past some third years, who are discussing if I could possibly be under the Imperius curse, I have enough. “You know, if this engagement is so important to you then… then get engaged yourselves. To Draco Malfoy. Because he is f…” I catch myself, seeing as they are still third years, “Freaking. Single.” My voice is seething with anger, but silent, and it seems as though that makes it even scarier to the small girls. Good. “And if I hear anyone else talk about this ridiculous lie, I will take ten points from their house.” Everybody within the vicinity of twenty metres looks at me absolutely shocked, but Jack and Blaise just smile at me.

The Slytherin table seems awfully quiet that evening. The girls are looking at me with daggers in their eyes, the boys seem to check me out, as if to see what could possibly make Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince, want me. I sigh and take one more bite of my steak and kidney pie, before I can’t take it anymore and flee the Great Hall in a rush.

I run automatically run to the library, knowing that the presence of the books will calm me down. I have barely grabbed a book and started reading though, when Seamus approaches me. I sigh and put down the book. “Mione? Is it true?” There is a tremble in Seamus’ voice and I wince slightly. “Of course not Seamus.” He smiles and starts to say something, but I do so first. “But it doesn’t matter. I really enjoyed myself the other day Seamus, but… I… I don’t feel for you as you feel for me. I’m really sorry, but I can’t change it, as much as I want.”

The Gryffindor leaves the library without another word. ‘There you have it. The only thing you do is hurt others.’ I try to shut up the malicious voice in my head, but it accompanies me the whole way to the common room. All calm that the library normally gives me is lost for today.

When Draco finally crawls through the portrait hole I am sitting on the couch and watching the flames, as I have been doing for what seems like hours. “Hey, Mione.” His voice is soft, but I am not in the mood for talking. I hurt Seamus, I lost Ron and I blamed Draco for something that isn’t his fault. One’s voice shouldn’t be soft when talking to me, especially not Draco’s. He should be angry. I get up and throw him a rather harsh “Good night.” I am nearly at my door, when a hand grabs my wrist.

“You won’t get away that easily.” He is now growling and pressing me to the wall. I can feel our hips touching, my heart is beating in the same rhythm as his. “Draco let me go.” I try to sound convincing, but I don’t. I sound rather like he should never let go of me at all. “Never, Hermione.” He speaks my name lovingly and I melt.

“What do you want?” I ask, my voice rather weak and squeaky. Not from fear – as I note with shock – but from arousal. “You.” Draco sighs and finally, finally, his lips meet mine.


	10. Dates and Talks

My head is spinning. What does he want? Why is he kissing me and where the hell did he learn to kiss so well? It takes me a few seconds to properly think about all of this, what with his soft lips on mine. But then finally, the answer comes to me. His father! He’s doing this for his father. So that we can clean that sick fuck’s reputation by marrying. I pull away furiously. “What the hell was that?” I put as much anger in my voice as possible, which isn’t much, since I’m out of breath.

“That, my dear Hermione, was a kiss.” He looks at me smiling, apparently not having registered yet that I am furious. “Well and now I guess I’m supposed to be falling for you so that you can please your Daddy and marry you? Forget it! I have about as much interest in you as I have in a Blast-Ended-Skrewt! Piss of, Malfoy.” I spit out the last word, putting all of my hate in it. All the times he called me names, he hurt me, he laughed at me are channelled into that one word.

He looks hurt, which right now, pleases me immensely. “You can be really thick sometimes Hermione.” He’s visibly shaking and turns around to go to his room. Fine, I want to be alone anyways. Still seething I go to my own room, throwing myself on the bed upon arrival. What is that jerk thinking? That I would ever follow through with a plan though out by Malfoy senior? He should’ve known that would never work.

I mean, how can he think I would ever play along with that. That I would ever play the role of the little housewife, waiting for her husband with a plate of hot food every evening while he is out playing with his little pureblood Slytherin bitches. Never. And what would my parents say? Never, never, never would I marry Draco Malfoy. And if my life depended on it. Still, I think, I just ruined another friendship.

Oh why is this eating at me for god’s sake? It’s not my fault that he doesn’t want to marry me. And I don’t want to marry him. But then why am I angry at myself? Sighing, I decide to go and get a shower. Maybe that’ll calm me down. But when I enter the bathroom there’s something else that distracts me. Draco is standing in front of me, wearing nothing but a towel slung around his hips. I had seen him in Boxershorts already, but a towel… Help!

Slowly, and as silently as possible, I try to retreat. But a second before I arrive at the door that leads back into my own room, Draco sees me. He looks directly into my blushing face and smiles. “Do I look that bad?” He asks jokingly. How can he find any of this funny? I am nearly dying from embarrassment, which causes me to blush even further. By Merlin, how does Draco have that much power over me? With the kiss, with this. Oh Merlin, the kiss! I blush until all my blood is in my head. The Slytherin’s smile widens and he takes a step toward me. “Think of something in particular?” He asks casually. I shake my head, but Draco still chuckles. “Thought so.” He says, and kisses me again.

I want to push him away. He’s Malfoy, he bullied me for years, he’s only wearing a towel… I can’t find any more reasons why I shouldn’t be doing exactly what I’m doing, so I just kiss back. In fact, I moan into the kiss and put my hands on his chest. The soft skin is taught over his muscles and fascinated I let my fingers wander. It’s infuriating what he does with me. I let my hand rest where his heart is and I can feel it beating wildly.

‘He’s excited as well!’ I realise. His fingers are in my hair now, mine still on his chest. The kiss intensifies, his tongue is on my still closed lips. I open them eagerly, and when his tongue touches mine I have to moan again. It’s like nothing I ever felt before, it’s amazing, it’s… I can’t think. Except at some point that ability finally comes back to me and I push Draco away, softly.

“Draco, wait.” Again I am out of breath. “What does this mean to you? Why do you keep doing… this?” Draco rolls his eyes. “Hermione don’t you get it? I want you! Now, Yesterday, Always!” I gape at him. Draco Malfoy wants me? How, why, me…? It takes me a second to form a coherent sentence. “Me? Draco you don’t even like me?” At that he seriously sighs and puts his face in his hands.

“Mione how often do I have to tell you? I don’t hate you anymore, I never really did! I, well, I was taught to hate you, because of where you come from. That’s how my father raised me and I was too young to understand that he was wrong. I wanted to please and impress him. But I never disliked you. I l tried to protect you even! Even if I couldn’t shield you from myself. Hermione, you have to understand. I only got it shortly before the war. How evil my father is and that his teachings are wrong and nonsensical. I saw that there are other ways, other options. And I have tried walking that way this year, and you don’t even know how much you helped me with that. Mione, without you I would probably still be an elitist arse. And then, when I saw how funny you are, how kind and how beautiful I couldn’t help but fall for you. You fascinate me, Hermione.” He takes a step toward me. “Every time I look into those brown eyes of yours I see kindness and hope. I need you and I want you, Mione and I kissed you because I wanted to, not because my father wants me to. I admit the timing was a bit unfortunate, but I still want you now, Hermione. If you want me too.”

It takes me a bit to think about everything he said. “But then why did you look so appalled when you read your father’s letter?” I ask, hoping that his answer will be plausible. Because I still have a hard time believing what Draco is saying, even though I know that he has changed. “Because my father is a swine! He wrote that as long as the public thinks we’re happily married, I should rather have fun with purebloods.” He sighs and looks me in the eyes for a long time. I smile. “My father’s gross, that’s all, I promise.” I want to hug him or kiss him, but he is still only wearing a towel. Instead I say: “I would like to shower, okay? Today was pretty exhausting. Maybe you could get dressed,” Draco scowls at that, “and we’ll meet in the common room.” He kisses me on the cheek, before returning to his room, hopefully to get dressed.

I shower in record time, already thinking about what to wear. I don’t want to seem desperate, but I also want to look hot. In the end I decide on red, lacey underwear that Ginny made me buy, a tight top and a skirt, that is just long enough to cover my ass. I cannot stop thinking about the fact that Draco likes me! I never thought that would be possible. Shit, the time! One last time I look at myself in the mirror, before taking a deep breath and walking out of my door. I suddenly feel stupid, I am probably overdressed for a simple meeting in the common room, but now it’s too late to change. And when I see Draco, the need to change disappears immediately. He is wearing a tuxedo and clearly polished shoes. I giggle a bit, while walking to greet him. “You look very nice yourself, Miss Granger.”

He takes my hand and places me on the small table next to the kitchen. Only now I see the red table cloth and the very expensive looking plates that are placed upon it. In the middle a candle is burning brightly. I smile. “Do you like it?” Draco asks, looking slightly embarrassed. “Yes! It’s wonderful Draco!” He has seated himself opposite me by now and is smiling, slightly blushed, which makes me blush in return. His grey eyes are filled with warmth. “Well then, let’s eat!”

The moment the words are out of his mouth, Dobby appears, dressed in his best socks and what looks like a dress for a toddler, decorated with hearts. In his small hands he’s holding what looks like a hastily prepared Menu. I nearly squeal at the adorable sight of him, but hold myself back, and instead I ask him: “Dobby, you’re doing this voluntarily, aren’t you?” Before Dobby can answer though, Draco speaks. “You really think that I would invite YOU, Head of S.P.E.W, on a date and make an houseelf do the serving against his will? Of course he’s here voluntarily!” Dobby nods vigorously and squeaks: “Master Malfoy is a good boy now.” He hands me a menu and dissapparates with a loud crack.

I smile at Draco over the Menu. “How did you do this? I was gone for maybe twenty minutes!” He smirks at me and I have the urge to reach over the table and to kiss him. I hold myself back though. “Magic, Miss Granger, Magic. So simple and yet very useful. But you of all people should know that.” “Well, yeah. But for all of this you would need household magic and I wouldn’t have thought that you would know any.” I say, trying hard not to sound as condescending as I am. “Oh there is a lot that you don’t know about me, Mione.” He says very secretively before going back to scanning the Menu. I sigh and try to decide on what to eat as well.

The moment Dobby’s name is out of Draco’s mouth the little houseelf is before us. We order – me a steak and liver pie with some butterbeer – and then watch the small creature dematerialise again. While we wait for Dobby to return we remain silent, not an uncomfortable silence though, but rather one where both parties are lost in their own thoughts but still connected somehow.

When the food comes we pick up conversation again, mostly about schoolwork. When Dobby brings pudding I can only take one bite before pushing it away, I am so full. Draco immediately looks concerned and asks: “What’s wrong? Don’t you like it?” I smile at him and shake my head. “I’m just really, really full.”  His face immediately changes and he grins at me. It’s a very suggestive grin and I blush. “We can change that.” He purrs and gets up. In no time he is at my side, pulls me up, kisses me and then picks me up into his arms.

“Is it okay if we relocate into the bedroom?” Draco asks, his voice low and musky. “Draco Malfoy.” I giggle, “On the first date, really?” Immediately the blond lets me down again and takes a step back. “Of course we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He says, clearly afraid that he overstepped a boundary. I smile at him and soon start to laugh. Not directly at him, but just because I hadn’t thought that Draco Malfoy in particular would care so much about consent. Even so much that the normally intelligent wizard hadn’t picked up on the sarcasm in my voice. “It’s not funny!” he growls, but a smile is dancing around his lips. “Sex? No sex isn’t funny. But you are.” I take a step toward him and kiss him quickly. “But you’re also very sweet.” I whisper, which seems to please him. “Let’s see how funny you think I am after this.” He says anyway and presses me against the wall again, our bodies now flushed against each other. “Is this okay?” I nod, not able to say a word. My heart is beating wildly and I know that it’s not from fear. Draco let’s out a last sigh before finally kissing me again.

A comfortable tingle starts spreading through my body and seems to intensify when Draco lets out a moan. I press myself even more against him, now able to feel every little shudder of his body. I stroke his back through his jacket, but soon it’s not enough anymore. Without pulling away I take his jacket off and throw it onto the floor. The shirt follows suit. “Same right for everyone.” Draco whispers, and takes off my shirt, not without throwing me a questioning look first. As soon as my shirt is off he sucks in a breath. I look at him, not sure how to take his reaction and want to say something when he interrupts me. “Mione! What are you doing with such lingerie?” He whispers and pulls me against him again. The feeling of skin on skin overwhelms me and I let out the smallest moan. I can feel his muscles against my skin. His mouth is on my neck and I feel overwhelmed.

When he starts sucking on my neck and biting gently, I moan. While he moves on downward, I think whether a cover up spell would even be able to cover this mess up. And whether I even want it to be covered up… At that moment Draco reaches my breasts and all logical thought is gone from my mind. “Can I?” He asks, his hands on the clasps of my bra. I nod and ever so careful he takes the red, lacey thing off. He kisses my nipple softly, and I can’t help but too push myself further against his mouth. Draco chuckles softly. “Maybe we should relocate to the bedroom.” I get out.

Immediately Draco picks me up and carries me to his room. He drops me onto the bed and crawls on. He starts kissing me again while I fumble with his belt. Not long after his trousers are on the floor next to my skirt. “Wait.” I mumble and immediately Draco lets go of me and backs of to the other side of the bed. “Is something wrong? Did I do something? Are you hurt?” He asks, concern etched on his features and I have to smile, while also asking myself how he isn’t out of breath. “No, no. You were amazing. It’s just… Do you want to have sex or do you want to have sex with ME? There is a difference. And also, I don’t know what I want yet, Draco. And believe me, this is hard to say, but maybe we should wait. Go on some more dates, get to know each other better. Then we can still continue where we are now. So… what do you think?”

Thankfully Draco seems neither angry or sad. He does look a bit disappointed, but he doesn’t say anything. And if he were angry, he would have to be an amazing actor to stay this calm. ‘But’ a little voice inside me says ‘he also said he only pretended to hate you all this years. That’s amazing acting as well. Maybe all of this is pretending too, to please his father.’ ‘Then what about the date?’ says another voice. ‘It did seem like that was his first one.’ It’s as if I have a devil and an angel on my shoulders… ‘Well unusual situations require unusual measures.’ Says the first one. I shake my head to get them to shut up and avoid looking at Draco while I get dressed. Still, I wonder, whether maybe this is all a plan to please his father. Even though I don’t want to, those doubts are all there. ‘Maybe saving you from Ron was the first step in his evil plan. Maybe he made him do it.’ No. No that’s impossible. But it’s also most definitely something the old Draco would’ve done. ‘But he’s not the old Draco anymore.’ I have to get out of this room.

I return into my own room and throw myself on my bed. I have to figure out his motives, what it really is he wants. Why me? There are so many questions in my head that I have the feeling it’ll burst any minute now. And for the first time in my life I decide against going to Ginny for help. Instead I will pay Blaise Zabini a visit.

Carefully I sneak through the empty corridors, always on the lookout for Filch. The way to the dungeons seems longer than usual and I get more nervous the longer I walk. Only when I reach the entry to the Slytherin common room I notice that it’s nearly midnight and that Blaise is probably in bed. Whatever. I give the door the password anyway and walk into the empty common room. I sigh, and am about to go find Blaise with the help of a useful spell, when I hear somebody clear their throat behind me. I go rigid. But it’s only Blaise. “Do you want something?” He asks softly. I nod.

“So… what is it?” We’re sitting in the two most comfortable chairs in front of the fireplace. “It’s Draco.” Blaise stiffens and he sits up. “So… we kissed. And then, well…” I tell him the whole story, from our first kiss to the nearly sex just a few minutes ago. Blaise looks at me, shaking his head when I finish. “I knew he’d fuck it up completely.” He says. I swallow hard. “So I was right? It’s all a trick to safe his name?” “No! Mione, no! He’s been talking about you for months and not about some fucked up thing his father is planning. I think I know you better than you know yourself now, since I practically had to listen to Draco talking about you for three hours every day, ever since September. That’s not how somebody acts when they only want you for some plan.” I’m still not convinced. “Well, if they want to make it a believable act, then they do.” My own voice sounds foreign to me.

“By Merlin’s pants Mione. You can really be stubborn. I know that Draco loves you, just as you love him. It should be so easy!” I look at him, shocked. “I do not love him! He’s a pureblood and a Slytherin.” I put my hand over my mouth. Blaise looks at me hurt. “So what? You can’t love purebloods and Slytherins?” “No Blaise, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. But he’s… he’s a Malfoy and I’m a muggelborn. It’s just not possible.”

After Blaise tried to convince me of our apparently obvious love for each other for over an hour, I escape. I wander through the empty, dark corridors wanting to believe what Blaise said, I really want to. But how could I?


	11. We will fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a very graphic rape scene. Anyone who is triggered by this should refrain from reading this chapter.

I lie awake until dawn thinking about what Blaise said. When I finally fall asleep light is already creeping through my window.

I sit up with a scream. It takes me a few seconds to realise that I am in my room and not Malfoy Manor. The nightmares had been becoming less and less, but sometimes I still woke up with the image of Bellatrix kneeling over me still fresh in my mind. Then I realise that it’s Monday. I look at the clock next to my bed and freeze. It’s midday. I missed half a day of classes. Finally, I move and jump from the bed, immediately getting dressed. I’m brushing my hair, when somebody knocks. “Mione, you’re missing lunch. You should really eat.” His voice seems pretty neutral and I have no idea what to think. I put away the brush, take a deep breath and exit my room.

I look up at Draco shyly, but he blows all of my worries away, by grinning brightly and taking my hand. “We don’t even have to announce it anymore.” He says, with a nod to our entwined hands, before dragging me through the portrait, down towards the great hall. I am confused. I would have thought that he was angry or at least hurt after I had just left yesterday, but instead he chatters away happily, not even mentioning yesterday once. After a while I relax and just smile at him. Maybe Blaise was right.

“Draco?” I mumble and stop just before the doors to the great hall. “Yes?” “I would like to sit with the Gryffindors today.” Draco looks at me doubtfully, but I smile at him, so he just nods. “But I’m coming with you.” Gratefully I squeeze his hand. We enter the hall, still holding hands. Draco was right, most students don’t even turn to look and whisper. I let out a sigh of relief but still cast down my eyes. Draco next to me seems to be doing the exact opposite, keeping his head held high. The moment I see Ron sitting at the Gryffindor table, bile starts rising in my throat, but I force it down and nod at him. “Ronald.” I press it out, before sitting as far away from him as possible.

Ginny and Harry find us eventually and sit down opposite us, clearly surprised. “Where were you this morning? And why are you back here?” Ginny asks immediately upon arriving. I grin. “Well, so much for a warm welcome.” Ginny looks down in shame for a second before prodding on. “So?” I laugh and take a bite of my potatoes. “I just overslept.” I wink at Ginny. “And I also thought that it was time to return here. I am a Gryffindor after all.”

We decide to walk to our next class together and join up with Blaise and Jack, who rarely seems to leave the Italians side nowadays, and even accept Ron walking next to us silently, though with grim faces. Nobody bothers to include him.

He stops me just before entering the classroom. Draco starts to say something, but I look at him, pleading to leave it be. “What is it?” I ask Ron sharply. “I… Hermione, I wanted to apologise. I know that an apology cannot mend what I did, but please… forgive me Hermione.” I look at him, long and hard. There are deep shadows under his eyes and he looks skinnier than ever. Still, he is right. No apology could ever make up for what he did. “Ron…” I start, not able to withstand his miserable appearance. “Give me time.” I say softer than before. He smiles and seems near tears, but before he can really start crying, I move past him into the classroom.

* * *

 

That evening I decide to open all of Ron’s Christmas presents. Draco had been against even keeping them, but I just hadn’t been able to throw them away. Now, the Slytherin is eying me with distaste as I carefully unwrap each packet. More and more wonderful things spill onto my lap and I know that all of the money Ron earned working in his brother’s joke shop this summer must’ve gone into these presents.

There is jewellery that even Draco seems to be genuinely impressed by (at least by the Weasel’s standard, as he says) and peacock quills, parchment decorated so beautifully, it seems fit for the Queen, (which makes me wonder, not for the first time, whether the royal family knows about magic). In the last parcel I open, I find the Deluminator and a letter. I am crying before I even have the chance to start reading the first word. Immediately, Draco abandons the homework he had been half-heartedly doing and comes over to comfort me. I shy away from his touch though, remembering how this tiny little thing was what had brought Ron back to us last year. I let the tears flow until they subside and then pick up the letter. My hands are shaking, and it takes me a while to get the parchment still enough for me to be able to read.

 _Dear Hermione,_  
I don’t know how to begin. It would probably best to start with saying that I know that what I did was inexcusable. And I won’t be trying to excuse it. Rather… explain it, I guess. Hermione, I don’t know what happened that day. If I try to remember it, it feels like a delirium. Like it wasn’t me who was doing those things. I have been trying to investigate into what could have caused my behaviour, but so far, I have reached no conclusion other than being Imperiused. Which is a ridiculous idea, I know.  
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I am so so sorry. Hermione, you are one of my best friends and I love you with all my heart. Having hurt you in such an unspeakable manner hurts me more than I’d like to admit. I understand that you are mad at me and I will not try to mend our friendship, even though it has broken my heart, not being able to talk to you anymore. I will accept any punishment you decide to inflict upon me. I have even thought about turning myself in to the teachers and am still contemplating doing it. I know I have to take responsibility for my actions. But so far, I am still not sure, whether I was myself. I hope I wasn’t. Because then, I would not know who I am anymore. Sorry, I am rambling. All I want you to know Hermione, is that I hope, that one day you can possibly forgive me. For my life is a thousand times without you in it. But I would also understand it, if you simply threw away this letter and all of my gifts and never looked at me again.   
With love,  
Ron

I am crying again after finishing the letter, pressing it against my chest. With all of the emotions it takes me longer than usual to connect the dots. But suddenly, I am asking myself how I couldn’t have seen it before. The Imperius curse. It isn’t ridiculous. It is the only logical reason. I voice my suspicions to Draco, who, instead of laughing at me, as I’d expected, looks positively stricken. “Of course…” “What is it, Draco?” He stays silent though. “Draco?” I ask again after a few minutes. “Pansy…” He mutters, and I gasp. Does he know something that I don’t.

“Draco?” I ask again. This time he snaps out of it and looks at me. “The day I found you… it was the day after Pansy and I had had a major fight. She said something that day… the one I found you I mean, and I think…” He trails off. I punch him lightly in the shoulder. “Draco! What did she say???” “She said something about how that mudblood, meaning you, would regret having split us up.” “Me? How the hell did I split you up?” Draco squirms uncomfortably before mumbling: “I kinda had a crush on you and Pansy picked up on it and that may be why we broke up.”

I tried not to grin, but I couldn’t hold it back. “You had what now?” I ask, not hiding my smugness. “I may have possibly had a crush on you.” I grin at Draco, before giving in to impulse and finally kissing him. His lips are warm and gentle on mine and I smile into the kiss. “I think I may have a crush on you too.” I mumble, when we pull apart. Draco smiles at me. But then my brain catches up. “Wait. You think Pansy Imperiused Ron? You think that she would do that?” Draco smiles at me ruefully before nodding and saying: “I wouldn’t put it past her.” I nod grimly. “We have to report her!” “Yes, we do. But that can wait, can’t it?” I grin and nod again. “It absolutely can. Come on.”

I kiss him quickly before taking his hand and leading him towards my room. I can basically feel Draco smirking behind me and for once, I smirk too. The second the bedroom door closes behind us, I push Draco against it and kiss him ferociously. He kisses me back just as hard and, on a whim, feeling brave, I let my hand slip down his chest. Draco seems to freeze when I touch him through the jeans, already half hard. A second later though, he starts moving against me, kissing me again.

His mouth moves to my neck and I moan, before pulling away, taking Draco by his belt and dragging him toward the bed. I push him onto the bed and climb on top of him. I kiss Draco, and feel around for my wand, wanting to undress us as fast as possible. When I can’t find it, I panic. I pull away and look around. “Is everything alright?” Draco asks, sitting up as well. “I need my wand. Sorry Draco, I’ll be right back.” I hop off him and run into the common room. I see it, lying on the couch table. Just as I grab it, an explosion rattles the room.

* * *

 

Draco’s voice sounds to me from the distance, I think he’s screaming my name. But I don’t listen much, I am much too scared of what’s happening. Slowly the layer of dust lifts and I can make out a big hole in the wall. I can see the portrait of the woman who was guarding our entry lying on the floor. They have bombed the entry. The only question is, who are they? The question doesn’t stay unanswered for long. When five wizards enter the room, I recognize them immediately. They are former death eaters. But why are they here? How? What do they want?

Suddenly Draco is next to me. I want to tell him to run away, to hide but at the same time I am glad that he’s next to me to fight, if we have to fight. “What do you want?” I ask, my voice more confident than I would have thought possible. I grip my wand tightly, waiting for an answer, but it doesn’t come. Instead I have to duck to get away from a stunning spell. Angry I throw a stunning spell back at them. The fighting goes on for a while, I lose track of time. At one point I realise that they don’t want to kill us. So far, I haven’t even seen a bit of green light. But what else could they want? Curses are flying around me and Draco. There is barely time for shield spells, I am too distracted defending myself. Draco is vigorously fighting next to me, but he is getting slower, as am I. Tiredness is creeping in and I am exhausted from all the magic. I wonder how long it’s gonna take until somebody notices the noise and comes to help us. But I lose hope eventually, knowing that the wing we live in, is normally empty.

At one point I stumble, too exhausted to keep standing straight. Next to me, I see Draco having the same problems. I’m still wondering what the Death Eaters could possibly want from us. Two of them are on the floor, but the others are fighting even harder to make up for it. Then I am too slow, just once, and a stunning spell hits me in the middle of the chest. The last thing I hear is Draco screaming, before I fall and fall and fall. Down into darkness.

When I open my eyes again, the darkness isn’t gone. For a moment I worry that I have gone blind, but then I realise that it’s just dark. At least I hope so. Carefully I sit up and let my hands wander on the floor. When there’s nothing directly around me, I crawl a bit in the direction I think of as left. I find the wall and feel myself along it, again to the left. I have to supress a cry, when I touch something distinctly fleshy. Reluctantly I put the hand back onto the thing and realise… it’s Draco. He must have been wounded. “Hermione?” His voice is weak but in this silence it still sounds like he’s screaming. “I’m here Draco. I’'s me.” He sighs in relief. “Draco, are you okay? And, where are we? Why are we here? Did they say what they want?” I can hear Draco’s smiling when he answers. “I think I’m okay, I think I just hit my head at one point. I think we’re in one of their hiding places, but I have no idea which one it could be. I could be a completely new one altogether. And I wish I knew why we were here.” I sigh and position myself so that I’m sitting next to him, my back leaning on the wall and let my head fall on his shoulder. He winces but stays silent. I try not to cry, wanting to stay strong, not wanting to be afraid. But of course, I am, and it makes me angry. I am a Gryffindor, I shouldn’t know fear. But still… I know Voldemort is dead, but still I see him in front of me, laughing high and cold.

Time passes but I have no idea how much. It seems like a few hours at least. My panic continues growing, but I try not to show it. I don’t want Draco to panic as well. When will we get food or water? Will we get any at all? Will we ever get out of here? What do they want? These questions are circling in my head, but I cannot find the answers.

Suddenly I hear voices outside the room. I lift my head from Draco’s lap and hold my breath. I can hear that Draco isn’t breathing either. “How long does Lucius want to keep them in there without food? They are of no use to us if they’re dead. And we need Potter to come and save them! So, give them some damn bread. Just fucking keep them alive!” A man is yelling, and I can hear somebody else mumbling something, then two pairs of steps walk away. “Draco…”

* * *

 

“I know.” He just says and squeezes my arm. I start thinking. If it’s Lucius, we’re probably in the Manor. The only question is, why is Lucius keeping us prisoner? Didn’t he start this whole engagement stuff? But whatever. He wants Harry to come and save us. But why? Are they trying to finish what Voldemort started? But why? Revenge? Or just bloodlust? But then why take us and not Ron or Ginny? My head starts hurting and I lie back down. “This is bad.” Draco says. “As I know my father we will get food when we’re already on the brink of death.” I sigh and as if it was listening to us, my stomach growls. I let out a weak laugh. “At least we’re in the same room. That means they won’t…” Draco stops and swallows. “They won’t… take advantage of you. I… I know they did that. Back when he was alive. Mione.” He swallows again and something wet drops on my face. I realise that he’s crying. “Promise me that you’ll fight.” “I promise.” I say, tears now streaming down my face as well. He slumps back against the wall, out of relief or because he’s so exhausted, I can’t tell. I realise how much it must’ve cost him to mention his past. To tell me of the going ons here. And to cry in front of me. Even though our situation is still shit, I can finally believe Blaise. And right now, that is enough to make me smile, at least a little bit.

Still denying my fear I walk around the room in what I think is a circle. Now and then I hit the wall, but I don’t let out a sound. They won’t hear me scream or moan in pain. Not me. “Mione sit down!” Draco pleads for the third time. “You’ll need all your energy.” I know that he’s right, but I cannot sit still right now. It’d drive me crazy. But after I walk around for ten more minutes I can feel exhaustion pulling at me, so I sit down. Draco lets out a relieved sigh. “Draco?” I mumble tiredly. “Yeah?” “Do you think we’ll ever get out of here?” He awkwardly pets my head, but with each stroke he gets more confident and after a while I don’t even need an answer. I could keep lying here, pretending like I’m only dozing in the Slytherin’s lap forever. “I don’t know,” he says finally, “But I hope so. I’ve had you way to short to give you up now. Mione…”

He stops and takes a deep breath. I turn so, that if there was light, I’d be looking right up at him. “I’m scared.” He admits. “It’s okay Draco.” I whisper and sit up to kiss him. I can feel another tear on his cheek. I pull away from the kiss and brush away the tear. “It’s okay to be scared Draco.” I repeat, and finally realise for myself that, yes, being scared is okay. He hugs me tighter and another realisation hits me. Maybe Draco is more Gryffindor than I am. He was brave enough to admit his fear. He’s scared but he still fights. Isn’t that what bravery is? Being scared but carrying on fighting? I take a deep breath, trying to stay awake, but I feel my consciousness slipping away. “Go to sleep Mione.” Draco whispers in that moment and that’s it. I let myself fall asleep completely.

A quiet, loving voice wakes me. “Mione, they brought food!” Immediately I sit up, ignoring the slightly dizzy feeling in my head. “Here, take this.” I feel for Draco’s hand and take the piece of bread he’s holding out for me. It’s stale and I have the feeling I’m breaking my teeth while eating it, but I don’t complain. I take bite after bite, as slowly as I can get my hungry body to eat it. “You thirsty?” Draco asks after a while and I nod, until I remember that he can’t see me. “Yes.” I mumble, my mouth already dry from the bread.

He hands me a glass of water and I drink in big gulps, eager to fill up my stomach so that I can keep some of the food for later. Only when the glass is nearly empty I realise that Draco probably hadn’t had any. Immediately I stop drinking and hand it back to the boy next to me. “I’m sorry Draco! There’s barely any left…” I can feel myself blushing and am glad that it’s dark. “That’s okay, I already drank some.” He says with a small laugh. “Draco that’s not funny! Who knows when we’ll get water again and here I am, drinking all of our reserves, without even making sure you had something before…” I trail off.

“Hermione! Calm down. I’m not laughing about you. I’m just… so amazed by the fact that you are imprisoned, and you don’t feel well and generally… everything is shit. But you still didn’t take all the water for yourself, you thought about me.” “But only…” I try to interrupt, but Draco silences me. “Shush. You thought about me. There aren’t many people that I know who’d do that for me. That’s one of the reasons you’re in Gryffindor and I’m in Slytherin. You’re mindful of other people while I always think of myself first. If I were here with anyone else I’d have drunken all of the water, maybe even eaten the second piece of bread. I always think of self-preservation first. Well, at least I did. And then you came along and… now I think of you first. Always. Hermione, you’ve become my first priority, and I won’t let anything hurt you! I promise.” I kiss him.

Minutes, hours or days could’ve passed since we were brought food when the door finally opens. I don’t know, any feeling of time I’d ever had has been lost to me in the past few days. The small streak of light that comes in through the smidge of the door already blinds me. But after a while I can see our prison for the first time. The walls and the floor must be ancient. Both are made from stone and mould seems to seep through everywhere. We have to be somewhere very deep under the house. “Lucius wants to see you.” A faceless voice from in front of the door says, but I swear I can hear a horrific grin.

Whatever Draco’s father has in store for us it’s not going to be pleasant. I get up and sway on my feet holding on to Draco, even though he isn’t much steadier on his feet. As slow as we can we walk towards the door, trying to avoid our fate for as long as possible. The Death eater, Guard, whatever, pushes us forward hard and the light, even though under normal circumstances barely considered dim, is so bright that we are momentarily blinded and fall. We get up slowly again and walk along the corridor, the masked guard behind us. Now and then he gives us a push, but we managed to stay afoot. There seem to be hundreds of corridors and hundreds of steps until we reach one made out of marble. This must be the entry to the main house then. We walk them up and reach the landing where the white blonde man is already waiting for us, a cruel smile playing on his lips.

“What do you think of our dungeons mudblood? Such a tragedy that you missed them last time.” He sneers. I stare at him, trying not to show how scared I am. I am going to be brave. I am going to fight.  “Leaver her alone, father!” Draco spits out the last word with so much sarcasm that even and house elf, normally oblivious to it, would’ve gotten it. Lucius slaps his son square in the face. “Not in that tone, son! You will obey me in my house and treat me with respect.” He hisses, anger written over all of his features. Draco looks away. I can’t blame him. His father had always been the scariest thing in the world to him.

“That’s better. Now back to you, mudblood. Normally I wouldn’t touch you with a pair of tongs, but since Potter seems to be taking his time and Narcissa sadly has… left me” He grins at the cry of despair Draco lets out at those words. My heart breaks a little at the sound, so raw, nearly feral, the sound of a child losing his mother. I try to hide my wince though. “I need someone to pleasure me.” He finishes and Draco, who is already sobbing, cries out again. “Shut up boy! What’s it worth to you?” Again, he strikes his son. Draco’s knees give in and he falls to the floor. It’s all I can do not to haul myself toward him and take him into my arm. Silent tears started streaming over my cheeks at one point, but I don’t acknowledge them. I am going to fulfil my promise to Draco.

“So now. If you keep still, maybe you’ll even enjoy it. It is after all the most elite cock you’re ever gonna take.” I can’t hide my wince this time and Malfoy Sr. smiles. “You won’t touch her father.” Draco is trying to get up again, but can’t seem to manage, he is so shaken by sobs. Lucius just sighs annoyedly and snips his fingers. Immediately two death eaters come running to tie up and gag Draco. They do it by hand, and by the roughness they do it with, I can see why. They place him on a stool so that he is facing the large fireplace a few metres away from us. “Better.” Malfoy grins and shoves me. I land hard on my back. Looking up at the ceiling, visions of Bellatrix sitting over me, torturing me and cutting the word mudblood into my arm play before my eyes. A sob escapes me, and the death eaters let out a high, cruel laugh. I bite my lips, so I can’t make any more noises.

Lucius laughs the loudest, then points his wand at me. I fly across the floor and land with my head to the fireplace and my feet pointing toward Draco. I try to sit up, but already ropes are keeping my arms tied to the fireplace and my legs are spread widely also held in place by ropes. They’re cutting my skin, but I barely feel it. All I can see and concentrate on is Lucius Malfoy, walking over to me slowly, looking me up and down.

“Let’s begin.” He says when he’s in front of me and bends down over me. He hexes away my pants but rips off my underwear with his hands, his soft hands grazing my stomach. Strange, I think, that he has soft hands. Criminals shouldn’t have soft hands. I wriggle around trying to hide my nakedness, but the bonds hold tight. Another sob escapes me. Malfoy laughs and bends down again, opening the buttons of my blouse agonizingly slow. Every second he is near me feels like a year of torture. “Leave me alone!” I cry out when he reaches the last button, a desperate attempt to keep him from seeing everything.

I have given up any pride, now it’s about survival and survival alone. Malfoy just laughs and takes off my blouse hard. Where it ripped at the sleeves my arms hurt and I start crying harder. But I manage to keep the sobs back. He takes of my bra in the same way. “Let’s see how you feel, mudblood.” He says. I only manage a whispered “No.” Before finally letting the sobs come. Naked, completely exposed to the three other death eaters still in the room, I can only watch as Lucius Malfoy undresses himself, neatly folding his clothes and handing it off to one off his minions. The only thing I can think about is dying. I hope it happens fast and before I can feel anything. The hope of Harry bursting through the door and saving me is lost.

Malfoy is now standing over me completely naked, holding a whip. “Before we have fun, mudblood, I have to show you to your place. Dirty. Little. Mudblood.” With every off the last few words he hits me with the whip. Pain flashes through me but I only cry out when, with the third lash, he hits my pubic mound. “You like that?” He asks me, his eyes wild and crazy. He’s still smiling. Then he starts lashing out again.

And again. And again. I don’t know whether the sobs I hear are mine or Draco’s. But I don’t care. I just lie there and wait for the end. Pain is now constant and my whole body is throbbing. I can feel blood running down my left side. After what seems like hours Malfoy finally puts away the whip. “It’s time to begin.” He announces, and I regret my relief about the whip being gone. He bends down again and whispers in my ear. “Are you as tight as you look or has Draco prepared you for me?” I whimper when he bites my ear before placing himself, kneeling, in between my legs. He lies down on me and bites my neck. I cry out, my throat already hoarse. Everywhere where our skin is touching pain is exploding and I hope I lose consciousness from all of it. But I stay painfully awake as he moves on from my bleeding neck to my breasts. I think I am constantly screaming now, but I can’t tell. The whole world has become the pain in my nipple, which he bites roughly, splitting open the skin. He does the same to the other one and I whimper. But the noise is lost in an explosion.


	12. Will I ever be whole again?

I’m still lying on the floor, completely helpless. Malfoy Senior gets up and dresses himself with a simple spell, before running toward the fighting. You can still see my blood glistening in the corner of his mouth. Had I had anything in my stomach I would’ve thrown up. But since that was potentially deadly anyway I was quite glad that I didn’t. I’m still crying and sobbing, though you can’t hear it through the noise of the fight. I can’t see Draco, but somebody is running toward me.

Instinctively I try to get away, but I’m still bound to the fireplace. Whoever it is, they cut the ropes and I try to get up and get away, but I can barely move. The person, who reveals himself to be Harry, tries to pull me into his arms, but I scream and wriggle away. Rationally I know that he won’t hurt me, but I cannot even imagine being touched right now. I wriggle away to a corner and hug myself only now realising that I’m still stark naked.

Harry follows me slowly and puts up his hands, as if to say: “I won’t hurt you!” I don’t back away, but eye him wearily. He doesn’t come too close or try to touch me again. “Mione, please, you have to get up.” He begs in a soothing voice, which doesn’t fit the background noises at all. I shake my head. I’m naked and I don’t even think I can stand. And if I get up, if I move, I’m going to feel him touches on me again, I’m going to feel the aching. It already hurts now, and I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like if I move my muscles. The more I think about it, the memory of Lucius Malfoy touching, biting me returns. I feel bile rise up my throat and don’t even have time to wonder where it’s coming from, before I am sick. Harry looks at me with so much pity that I feel sick again, but there’s not even enough stomach acid left for me to throw up.

“Please get up, Mione. I’ll turn around.” He says, still in this annoyingly soft voice. I shake my head again but get up nonetheless. I don’t want to continue being this weak, little creature. When I stand, I am shaking, and it takes me a lot of effort to remain upright. My hands are crossed in front of my chest. The fighting seems to be over, because even more people are hurrying towards me. The noise has stopped too, and an eerie silence has crept into the room. Harry, who is still standing a meter away from me, his back turned in my direction, stops the others and asks them to turn around as well. I still can’t see Draco anywhere.

I get dressed in some clothes Ginny produced from somewhere. It hurts to move. The lack of underwear is a constant reminder of what just happened. The others have formed a half circle around me, which I duck out of to see Draco waiting for me in front of it. I have been waiting to finally see him again for the longest time, but now, when he moves toward me, his eyes glistening with tears, his beautiful, beautiful grey eyes, that now remind me of his father’s, making to put his arms around me, I stumble away, a scream stuck in my throat. I cannot look at him, at the soft, white blond hair that is now a constant reminder of my humiliation, at the hard edge of his cheekbones, that make him look so much like my tormenter.

The others, who have only now realised that I am not behind them anymore, hurry toward me again. Ginny comes to help me up, while Ron and Harry stand back. Draco, who looks surprised and hurt, as if I’d just struck him in the face, stands next to them. I back away from Ginny, my eyes filling with tears again. Why me? Why twice in one year? Why his father? Sobs start shaking me again and I’m eternally grateful to Harry who keeps holding people back, to keep them from seeing the worst of my humiliation. As if in Trance everything I hear while I get up again seems muffled. I can feel every last lash that the whip has left on my body. I can feel every one of his dirty fingers trailing my body. I can feel his teeth marks on my neck and breasts. I want to scream and thrash, but all I do is whimper and continue to stand shakily. Immediately Draco is next to me, all hurt removed from his face, replaced by worry.

“Mione, it’s going to be okay. Nobody will get to you now. I promise.” Wisely, he doesn’t try to touch me again. I still can’t really look at him, but his soothing voice, so different than his father’s, calms me. More tears swell up as I realise that I can’t even throw myself into my boyfriend’s arms to cry, without getting a panic attack. As Harry tries to approach me again, I back away.

He stops and says: “Mione, we will have to apparate. And since you’re in no condition to do so yourself, you’ll have to apparate side-by-side. I’m sorry, but there’s no other way…” He trails off when I continue shaking my head nearly violently. Harry sighs, but continues: “I don’t like it, because you need medical attention immediately, but we can also call upon ministry cars. It will take a while though.” Harry seems to read the relieve in my eyes, because he sighs again, nods and then walks of, already producing a talking Patronus.

Not five minutes later he returns. “We’ll keep a safety guard here with you, but most of the Aurors have to return to their jobs. So, it’ll be me, Ron and Ginny, as well as Kingsley.” I hadn’t noticed that the Minister of Magic was here as well. As if he’d heard his name, Ron comes closer and holds his hand out as if he wanted to touch me. Harry swats it away. Why does everyone suddenly want to touch me? Or has it always been like this, but until now I just hadn’t cared? I see Ginny hurrying toward us and feel better immediately. She urges me to accompany her outside, and I’m glad for an excuse to step away from the boys.

“I don’t want you to stay in here any longer.” She says when we step through the door. I can hear that she’s holding back tears and even though it might be selfish, I’m grateful for it. I couldn’t bear to see her crying right now. I couldn’t hug her or whisper soothing words into her ear. I would be totally and utterly useless.

We walk down to the gateway, nearly strolling. It could be beautiful with all the animals and plants, but right now nothing seems to be beautiful. The world around me looks dull and grey and I am thankful when I find a big bolder to sit on and am able to close my eyes. At least it’s the same black as it always has been.

“Can I sit?” Ginny asks after a while, and I nod, nearly automatically. When she eventually puts her arm around me, I stay there. It’s Ginny. She doesn’t resemble Lucius in the slightest. And she’s been hugging me for years, I know her touch. With Harry and Ron… They’ve only recently been able to put aside their masculinity enough to allow for some proper hugs. I slowly put down my head on her shoulder and start crying again. I am ashamed that I can’t stop the tears, but Ginny only strokes my head gently and whispers soothing things.

An Eternity seems to have passed before Harry steps up to us.

“They’re still gonna be half an hour.” He sighs, clearly displeased by the amount of time we’re wasting. But I don’t care. Even only thinking about the feeling of apparating makes me wanna throw up. I look up when I hear somebody running down the gravely walkway. As they get closer I can understand their whispered conversation.

“I have to talk to her Potter.” Draco is saying, his tone soft. Even though I know the two boys have started getting along better over these last few weeks, it surprises me.

“Draco,” Draco? Oh wow. “I don’t know… She’s fragile right now…”

“I know.” Draco sighs, his voice a mixture of hatred and pity. “But I have to.”

A second later he’s in front of me. I freeze. “Mione…” He starts, but Ginny interrupts him.

“Draco, can’t you see that this isn’t the time.” “Ginny, please. I have to talk to her. Alone.” Ginny looks at me. I sigh and nod. After all, he is my boyfriend and what happened isn’t his fault. He went through something awful as well. Being forced to watch… I don’t even want to imagine it. Ginny helps me to get up without another word but looks as though she would rather that I stay.

I smile at her, before walking toward the edge of the woods, Draco walking a safe distance from me.

“Mione… I’m so sorry.” He croaks as soon as we are out of earshot of the others. Tears start streaming down his face, though I can see that he’s trying to hold them back.

“It wasn’t your fault.” I say, my voice hoarse from the screaming and crying.

“Still, I should have done something… I should have stopped him… I…”

I interrupt him. “Draco, there was nothing you could have done. Your father is stronger than you.” I fight back tears of my own, embarrassed at the amount of crying I’ve been doing in the past few hours.

“Don’t call him my father.” Draco erupts and shrink back from him. He immediately calms himself again. “Sorry. I just… He’s not my father anymore. He’s a monster and I would be happy if he died.” This time, I don’t disagree with him. “Mione…” He starts again, taking a step toward me. I keep standing in the same spot, even though it feels like the hardest thing I ever had to do.

“Please… let me touch you. I have to convince myself that you’re real, that you’re alive. Please.” The last word is barely more than a whisper. I start shaking my head, but upon seeing the crushed look in his eyes, the desperation behind it, I nod, once. He reaches out to me and I let myself be pulled into a soft embrace. Even though everything inside of me is screaming to get away, I also feel safe. Draco holds me softly, his touch like the whisper of a real one. I can’t relax fully, remain stiff until he lets go of me again, but I return his smile.

When the car arrives, half an hour later, I am sitting next to Draco, just far enough not to be touching him. We both don’t know what to say, so we have been silent for the last minutes, leaving Ginny and Harry to provide the conversation. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to talk anyway. When Draco offers me his hand to help me up, I take it, hoping that it’ll make him happy. It seems to work. He smiles at me again. Harry is already holding the doors open for us when we reach the black van. The back is full of pillows and blankets, looking like a bed rather than a car seat.

“Somebody has to sit in the back with Mione.” Harry states. I can feel Ginny’s and Draco’s stares on me. I know Ginny will understand rather than Draco, what it would mean to my boyfriend to be the one to spend the ride beside me. I look at her apologetically, but she just nods.

“Come on, Draco.” I mumble, climbing in. Draco follows, taking up a seat next to the door. I lie down, knowing I don’t have the strength to stay upright anymore. I lay my head in Draco’s lap, a pillow preventing direct contact. As stupid as it is, it makes me feel better. Safer.

Draco puts a blanket over me and I am thankful for the warming charm it is provided with. But when he makes to fasten the belts around my wounded body, I whimper.

“Please don’t. It…” I gasp when he accidentally touches one of the whip lashes “hurts.” I press out. Immediately he apologies, but I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing to make the pain go away. It doesn’t. As the car starts, I can feel a charm being placed on me that is supposed to keep me from falling. With Ginny, Harry and Bill’s voices talking in the front and Draco’s breathing I quickly doze off. I couldn’t keep myself awake right now, even if I wanted too.

Waking up is the worst thing I ever did. Memories are flung at me like stones, images returning so fast that I get dizzy. I barely hold back a panicked scream when Madam Pomfrey nudges me, and only follow her because she allows Ginny and Draco to lead me there rather than herself. I try walking by myself until we reach the first set of stairs. I cannot move my legs up those if I don’t wanna die from pain. Panicked I look between my two friends.

“Can I?” Draco asks, stepping closer and making to pick me up. I take a deep breath and nod. I’d rather be carried by him, than by anyone else. He picks me up as if I weighed nothing, even though he must be just as exhausted and tired as I am.

When we arrive in the Hospital Wing Madam Pomfrey makes him set me down and him lie down on a bed to wait for her. She gives him some chocolate to regain some nutrients and calories and then leads me to a small bathroom, which I’ve never seen before.

“My dear girl. What have they done to you?” She mutters when I take off the jacket Ginny gave me and reveal my bruised skin. “A bath or a shower?” She asks, and I point towards the huge bathtub standing a few feet away. Sleeping made everything more real and I feel dirty and even though I know it’s not sensical, I feel ashamed. Malfoy senior’s touches are still lingering on my skin and I long for nothing more than to get rid of the memory of them. Madam Pomfrey lets the water flow and turns around after handing me a towel so that I can get undressed. I wince several times as I take off my clothes and I can see the medi witch’s shoulders tense every time I do. When the towel is slung around my breasts she turns off the water.

“I will leave you alone, Miss Granger. If you need anything just call. I will tend to Mr. Malfoy.” I wince at the name, even though it’s my boyfriend’s. The mediwitch hurries out of the room, a mix of grim determination, pity and hurt on her face.

I turn toward the bathtub and let my towel drop. My whole body stings when I let myself slide into the water. It hurts so much that I nearly jump up again, the water sloshing around me and splashing on the floor. I bite my lip, so I won’t scream and let myself slide down again. I try to ignore the hurt, try to concentrate on anything else, but even my thoughts hurt right now. Nowhere is safe, not even my own mind. My body isn’t mine anymore. Lucius Malfoy took it and made it his.

Tears flood my eyes and I don’t bother holding them back. They mix with the bath water, creating small riffles in it. Through the hazy view of my tears I find the sponge on the side of the bathtub. I grab for it nearly desperately, and start scrubbing, making my skin hurt even more. But I don’t care. I want to get my skin off me, to get his touch off me. Soon, my whole body is raw and red, and I am hurting everywhere. Some wounds have started bleeding again and slowly the water is turning pink. When Madam Pomfrey re-enters the room, she does so with a gasp. I don’t look at her as she comes closer, I don’t bother to hide my nakedness from her.

“Oh, my poor girl! I shouldn’t have left you alone. Come on, get up.” I do as she says and let her wrap the towel around me again. It hurts where she brushes against my skin, but I don’t wince. She gently leads me to the bed next to Draco’s, who jumps up as soon as he sees me.

“Mione, I…” I shake my head. I don’t want to talk. All I want is to sleep, to not remember. I look around to find something to dress myself in, but I realise that I have nothing here.

“Madame Pomfrey, could you please send for some clothes?” I ask quietly. The mediwitch nods and sends out a Patronus to Ginny.

Not even ten minutes later my best friend burst through the door, a very huge, wooden box floating in front of her. She lets it land gently before me, and the first thing that I see when she opens it, are two books by Jane Austen.

“I thought you might need the distraction.” Ginny says, and I want to hug her for it. Since my whole body aches I settle for a grin and ask her to hand me a pyjama that is buried somewhere in the pile of clothes underneath the books. She does, and I get dressed behind the curtain. Ginny has meanwhile seated herself on my bed. She is looking at her hands.

“Mione?” She asks quietly, something so unlike Ginny that I get the sudden urge to comfort her. “What… I mean… how can I help? Do you want to talk about it? Do you want to ignore it? Just please… tell me what to do to make you feel better.” I sit down next to her and take her hand.

“Ginny. Honestly, I don’t think there is anything that will make me feel better right now. Even though I know it isn’t true, it feels like it will never be better. Just… I need time, Gin. And sleep.” She nods.

“Of course. I understand. But whatever you need, I’m here.”

Just then Draco returns from where he went with Madame Pomfrey to get an assortment of potions. He tosses me a flask.

“Dreamless sleep. I think you’ll need that right now.” He says, smiling at me sadly. He throws me a kiss, before he exits the hospital wing, as we had agreed on earlier. I also needed time away from him, no matter how much I loved him.

“Mione…” Ginny starts carefully, and I look away from where Draco just disappeared. “Dumbledore said he wanted to come and see how you are. He said to tell me, if you wanted to sleep before. Do you?” I nod eagerly and immediately down the potion. I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow.

I awake to a room full of people staring at me. Draco is back, and Dumbledore has appeared. Ron and Harry are also somewhere and even Molly is there. The mass of people makes me uncomfortable, especially lying there while everyone else is standing. I sit up, but don’t even try to smile at them. It would be insincere. I just nod at Dumbledore, greeting him, because he is still the headmaster. Molly has tears in her eyes and I can’t look at her.

I feel detached, as if watching this from far away and I fear that if I let myself look at her, acknowledge her sadness, it will make my emotions return as well. I want to embrace this cold feeling for as long as I can.

“How are you?” Ron stupidly asks, ruining my emotionless state. I look at him, then at Draco and I can’t do anything to stop the tears. Everything comes back, and even though most of my wounds are healed and only a few, very small scars remain, I feel as though everything had just happened. As though Lucius Malfoy was still here, lashing at me, biting my skin, violating my body.

“Hermione. If this is too much I will make them all go away.” Draco offers, but I shake my head. I have to tell them. I have to get it out. It’s the only sensible thing to do. I smile weakly at Draco through my tears before turning to face Dumbledore and Molly, who are both standing at the foot of my bed.

“Miss Granger.” Dumbledore starts, his voice soft. “I would ask you to repeat to us what happened tonight.” I nod. “But first we should probably sit.” The headmaster conjures chairs from thin air, then waits until everybody is seated and then nods at me to begin. I take a deep breath before starting.

The story of our abduction flows out of me, only leaving out Draco’s sudden show of compassion and what we talked about. I have to swallow a few times when I get to where the two Death Eaters dragged us out of our cell and up the stairs. Tears start flowing again, but I talk on and on, describing how Malfoy bound me to the fireplace and how he tore my clothes off me. I tell them about how he whipped me and then bit me. Molly is bawling, unsuccessfully trying to silence her sobs.

I can feel that she wants to reach out to me, but she doesn’t and I’m grateful for that. I don’t think I could’ve continued if she did. Ginny is also crying, as are Harry and Ron. Draco has a detached look on his face, as if he wasn’t really present, and maybe he wasn’t. He had undergone just as much terror as I had, and I hoped that he too would talk about his feelings eventually.

“Draco?” He got up the second I finished.

“I’m sorry, Hermione.” He strides over to my side and gets down on his knees, taking my hand and kissing it softly. “This would have never happened to you, if we hadn’t gotten together.” He has tears in his eyes. It takes me a second to comprehend what he means, by the realisation that he considers us to be “together”.

“Wait Draco!” I whisper shout, but he just continues.

“I think it would be better if we separated.” Panic flows through me and I look around at the others in search for help, but they have all respectfully left our side and were now standing at the doors to the Hospital Wing, talking softly.

“I really don’t think that’ll solve anything!” I say louder than I want. “I’m sorry.” I say lowering my voice. “But they would have attacked me anyway. I’m Harry’s friend! Remember, that’s why they kidnapped us in the first place. If anything, you were in danger because of me!”

Draco shakes his head, but I stay stubborn. “Draco. I love you.” It’s the first time either of us has said it, and finally Draco looks directly at me, shock written all over his face. “Just accept that. I will not let you go, until you want to go. I will stay by your side, Draco. I love you.” I whisper again, and he kisses me.

He pulls away immediately when I wince. Both because it kinda hurts, but I also don’t want the feeling of another mouth on mine right now.

“Sorry. I don’t think I’m ready for that.” I whisper and Draco nods, instead kissing my hand again.

“I’m sorry, too. For wanting to leave you at a time like this. Also…” He breathes in deeply. “I love you, too Hermione.” Somehow, my full name makes it more meaningful and I smile up at him.

Somehow sensing that we’re done talking, Dumbledore comes over again. “Miss Granger, there’s one last thing I need of you. You will have to repeat what you just told us in front of the Wizengamot. Do you think you can do that? In an extreme case I could extract my memory of this and show it to them, but they do not trust my memories. You see, I am quite able to tamper with them.” I don’t point out that they could just as easily watch Ron’s, or Molly’s or even my memories, at least then I would be kind of detached from them, and just nod.

“Mr. Malfoy, they will ask you to testify. I hope you are ready for that.”

“Anything.” Draco answers, nodding. Dumbledore smiles contently.

“Then there is the issue of what you want to do now. Of course, Madame Pomfrey will take care of any physical damage, but there are quite a lot of mental issues to deal with after this. There is the option of memory erasure after the trial, although it could happen that they resurface if you experience something similar.” At that he looks between me and Draco, with a look that tells me exactly what he deems to be a similar situation. “Then there is the possibility of therapy. It has only recently been adapted to the wizarding world, and there are few therapists as of yet, but of course you two would be getting the best we could find. You would meet with them on a regular basis, daily at first, then as need be.”

Draco and I look at each other. To my surprise he mumbles “Therapy.” As do I.

“It’s decided then.” Dumbledore says. “We will send by the therapist tomorrow afternoon.” With that he finally leaves us alone again.

The others soon join us around the bed again and Harry and Ron start pestering Draco with questions. Either to distract him or because they are genuinely interested now that they saw that he truly cares about me, I don’t know. But I don’t really care, as long as they truly get along now. Of course, they don’t ask any questions involving his father and leave out his childhood in general.

They do ask how his mother is doing and what his favourite subject is and stuff like that. Draco answers politely and in turn asks questions himself. He continues holding my hand, stroking it softly with his thumb.

I lie there listening to the boys, chipping into Molly and Ginny’s conversation here and there, but mostly just listening, content that I don’t have to do anything and concentrate on something else but what happened.

“By the way,” Draco says after a while, “We never got to report Pansy after all. She did put Ron under the Imperius Curse, after all.” “She what?” Ron lets out. I sigh, not particularly happy to be back at this topic, but knowing that it must be discussed. “Sorry Ron. Also,” I turn to Draco, “They’re only suspicions as of now. We don’t know that Pansy did anything.” Draco blushes, but still insists on telling someone.

“Yeah, okay, we’ll do that.” I sigh eventually, defeated. I can already hear McGonagall asking with a shrill voice why I didn’t come to her right away. But whatever, Pansy should be punished, if she is actually responsible, so I’ll just have to try and explain my reasoning.

Harry, Ron and Ginny have left a while ago, and I am trying to fall asleep, Draco’s arms around me. I begged Madame Pomfrey to let him stay with me, not knowing what would happen when I was alone with my thoughts. Then I was cold and asked him to warm me. It took a while to find a position that didn’t hurt, and I had to push him away quite often, before I could manage him so near without a panic attack. But I was determined to put this behind me as quickly as possible.

I finally fall asleep hours later, Draco snoring softly beside me.

 


End file.
